


Me, Myself and...Sev?!

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Drama, Explicit Language, F/M, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Mystery, Out of Character, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Suspense, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-17
Updated: 2007-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-01 05:04:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 42,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10181306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: His childhood has caught up with him, and Harry's personality is fragmented. A one-night stand with Severus gets him pregnent, but if only your soul mate can impregnate you, what does this say for their mutual hatred? Harry sufferes from M.P.D., Sev's just a git!!!!





	1. Important Information

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

 

**This is not a chapter – this is information!**

 

OK, in this story Harry has Multiple Personalities. This means that, as a result of a massive trauma in his early life, Harry's psyche is fractured. When he is dissociating, thoughts, experiences, memories, actions and identities do not associate with each other properly. This means his memories are incorrect, and do not connect to each other properly. He will later show elements of schizophrenia. For the purposes of this story Harry will be referred to as having Multiple Personality Disorder. My portrayal of it includes symptoms of other illnesses to fit the story. Please do not read this and think that what I am portraying is a medically accurate illness; it is manipulated to fit plotlines.

Harry has many personas. The first is 'Harry' – his normal, day-to-day self that we all know and love. Harry holds all the memories of the war and Hogwarts and magic. Harry is predominant, and is the most often-seen persona.

The second is 'Rook'. Rook is a slut, and the most dominant of the alter personalities. Rook takes over when Harry goes to sleep, and goes sleeping around. It is Rook that sleeps with Severus the first time. 

The third is 'Kyle'. Kyle will only make an appearance when Harry falls pregnant. Kyle is every negative 'I can't do this' thought personified.

As the story goes on, other personalities may be introduced, and I will update this little info page so that you (and I) can keep track of the personalities. I know this is all a little vague, so leave a review with a question if you have one, but a lot of the vagueness will be explained through the chapters in good time. This isn't going to be a massive WIP, I know how it will end, but I don't know whether it will take me five chapters or fifteen to get there. 

When Harry is in a different persona, I will write as though it is that persona. So, instead of _'Harry looked in the mirror'_ it will read _'Rook looked in the mirror'_. But…other people will still think about him as Harry. So Ron will think _'Harry's looking in the mirror'_ not _'Rook's looking in the mirror.'_.

Everyone clear? OK, on with the show!

Also; I was the kid at school that didn’t play nice with other kids – the fact that I've got a beta for this and they're great and I value their input as much as I value my own (even with commas!!!!!) is a big deal for me. In case I ever forget to tell you in our many emails or let you feel unloved – Bookworm51485 your prompt was rocking and so are you!

*S*S*

 

Finally, if you would like information on any mental illnesses, there are plenty of good sites on the internet;

www.sane.org.uk  
www.mind.org.uk  
www.rethink.org


	2. Shock, and Horror!

  
Author's notes: His childhood has caught up with him, and Harry's personality is fragmented. A one-night stand with Severus gets him pregnent, but if only your soul mate can impregnate you, what does this say for their mutual hatred? Harry sufferes from D.I.D., Sev's just a git!!!!  


* * *

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

 

Severus couldn't quite believe he'd allowed Lucius to drag him out to this filthy muggle club. The blonde had found a new lease of life after the war – switching sides when he escaped Azkaban and fighting alongside the Light and the impertinent one. Now that Narcissa was gone, and Draco was happily settled down with Charlie Weasley (Severus shuddered – no amount of fighting for the same team would warm him to the Weasleys), Lucius felt the need to go out and shag as many men as he could find. And apparently, Severus should do the same. 

Severus left aside the question of how his friend knew his sexuality, and focused on berating the blonde quietly as he glared at the couples dirty-dancing in their leather and chains. "Why do you feel the need to be here?"

"Because it's full of hot, young, innocent little muggles just waiting to be fucked senseless."

"Fine, you are evidently a very sick individual, but why must I be here? You are a grown man Lucius; do you really need me here to hold your hand?"

"Well, you can three-up with us if you like?"

Severus fixed Lucius with his trademark glare, but the blonde man didn't quail, just laughed at him. "Honestly Sev, the war is over. You have a comfortable life, why not indulge a little? You can't spend your life alone."

"No, I suppose you're right. Who _wouldn't_ want to spend their life with some muggle slut?!"

"Look, I'm going to find someone to dance with, you can sit here and seethe or you can have fun. I'll yell if I leave."

Severus waved his hand irritably, and downed his whiskey before settling down to glare at the dance floor. Lucius had found himself a play-mate quickly enough, and Severus felt distaste colour his mouth. Standing up gracefully, he headed to the toilets. He'd assumed they would be a den of iniquity, but the club actually had back-rooms for sex, so the toilets were mercifully quiet. Severus knew it was pitiful, but he locked himself in a cubicle and flipped the seat down, sitting down and sighing softly. He didn't want to be here, primarily because he feared Lucius had a point. Severus was all alone; nobody hated him, in fact he had his very own Order of Merlin First Class, but nobody wanted him either. So Severus spent his time alone, coming out only when he was forced. As he settled in for an evening of wallowing in self pity, the door to the toilets crashed open and he heard two men enter.

"They have rooms for this."

"Can't get that far. Pants down, stud."

Severus tensed, and then groaned. It couldn't be!

"I don't even know your name."

"What do you want my name to be?"

"Don't play games little one – what's your name?"

"Rook. And I'm not so little darlin'. And… _circe!_ …neither are you!"

The words stopped as groans and slurps filled the air. Severus knew that voice, but 'Rook'? Silently, he cast a charm on the toilet door, turning it into a one-way mirror of sorts. Severus' body went ice-cold as he saw **him**. Him. That stupid, idiotic, chaos-making, impertinent little brat of a saviour of the wizarding world. Him. Knelt on the floor of the toilets of a seedy S &M club, sucking off a guy. Severus felt his breath catch in his throat, and wondered why the boy wasn't reacting to the presence of magic – he'd always been sensitive to magic, and the spell Severus was using was advanced; Harry should have felt it.

Harry pulled off the man with a slurp and stood up, walking over to Severus' cubicle and placing his hands either side of the door. He was wearing tight dark denims that left nothing to the imagination, and a white fitted shirt that clung to every muscle in his torso. Severus didn't know what to do, and he recoiled in horror as the nameless muggle reached round and undid Harry's jeans. Suddenly, the Saviour's very erect cock was eye level with Severus' startled face, and the wizard recoiled back in horror. This could not be happening, there was no way that…

"Fuck you're so tight!"

"Ugh…harder…fuck me hard stud!"

Severus had no escape, and sat in frozen horror as Harry was pounded hard and fast, screaming obscenities, his thick cock bouncing directly in front of Severus' face, bouncing harder and harder until a tan hand moved from the doorframe and grabbed it, jerking roughly until, with a strangled scream, Harry came hard. Severus leant even further back; and was slightly surprised when the cum didn't fall on him. But it wouldn't, there was a door in the way, and he was definitely grateful for the door. Definitely. 

"That was…woah…"

"Mmmm, you were great, stud."

"You here often?"

"Often as I can be. But stud, I'm not anyone's boyfriend. Next week I'm going to be impaled on someone else, so don't get attached. Anyway, your girl is going to notice your absence soon, better run."

Severus held his breath as the nameless muggle did up his jeans and slunk out of the bathroom. Harry pulled up his own denims and turned to face the mirror, mussing up his hair and blowing himself a kiss. Severus stayed completely still for long minutes after Harry had left, not entirely sure what had just happened, and not entirely sure that he hadn't enjoyed it…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry woke up and gazed blearily at the clock. It was a little before eleven, and as he sat up the entire world began jumping on his temples. Swaying slightly, Harry held onto his head and mewled softly. This had to stop; his body couldn't take much more of last night…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Harry, you're late."

Harry smiled wanly at Hermione and sat down gingerly. His friend balanced her youngest on one hip and came to sit next to him at the kitchen table. "Harry, what's up?"

"I…I…"

Hermione watched as Harry dissolved into tears, and yelled her daughter. "Louisa? Can you take Jasmine for me?"

Her seven-year-old daughter came in and took the baby carefully, heading back into the living room where the twins, Michael and Nicholas, four, were playing. Once her children were out of the room, Hermione wrapped an arm around Harry's trembling shoulders and cooed softly. "Harry, love, what is it?"

"I need…I'm…I think…"

"Harry? Has someone hurt you? Has something happened to scare you?"

"No. I…I think I'm…an…an alcoholic."

Hermione was stopped cold, and drew back a little, fixing Harry in a firm gaze as she wiped tears from his cheeks. "Why would you think that?"

"Because…every Friday, I…I wake up the next morning and I have these massive hangovers with no recollection of what I've done. I remember going to bed OK, but then the rest is just…it's like someone else is doing this, and I have no idea what happens between going to sleep and waking up, but it must be me. Hermione I'm…I'm really sick!"

Harry dissolved into fresh sobs, and Hermione cooed gently. "Look, it isn't that bad. Harry, I've never noticed you having a problem with alcohol. If anything, you drink less than everyone else. Why would you think you have an alcohol problem, if you have no recollection of drinking?"

"Because it's the only thing that fits. Hermione…what do I do?"

Hermione shook her head softly, and then took a deep breath. "Right. When Ron gets home you'll tell him, because he can help. Then you and me will go and take all the alcohol out of your apartment. And we'll google AA meetings, and get you going to them, OK?"

Harry nodded, and wiped at his tears forlornly. He didn't understand how things could have gotten so bad without him noticing it…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus couldn't get the picture of Harry, orgasming, out of his head. It was the shock of it, that was all. He was shocked…that's why he'd agreed to go with Lucius back to the club; he was just in shock and hadn't had the wits to say no. Severus was interrupted from his musings when Lucius appeared. "Ready to go?"

"Must I?"

"Yes. Be nice, Severus."

Sighing, Severus stood up and followed Lucius in flooing to the Burrow. It was Draco and Charlie's third wedding anniversary, and as Draco's godfather, Severus knew he should put in an appearance. The Burrow was simply a family affair, they'd decided against a big party this year as both men had to work the next day. So it was with a long face that Severus stepped out into the Burrow and greeted his godson.

"Sev! I was worried you wouldn't come."

"I was coerced into this. How are you, Draconis?"

"Really good. You?"

"As well as can be expected."

"Found anyone to warm your sheets?"

"The need for warm sheets is a youthful folly. If you'll excuse me, I suspect I shall need large quantities of alcohol to survive this."

Draco smirked as his snarky godfather headed into the kitchen to find a drink, and caught sight of Harry flooing in. They exchanged greetings and tales, but Draco could tell the brunette was preoccupied. He enquired, but Harry shook his head softly. "Things are fine. This is your day, Draco, enjoy it. I promise, there's nothing up with me that a good laugh won't cure."

Knowing he was being lied to, but knowing that he couldn't win against Harry; Draco nodded and went to find his dashing husband…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Potter."

"Professor Snape. How are you?"

"Well."

"I'm fine, thanks for asking."

"What difference does it make to me how you are?"

"It's good manners to ask."

"And you are the pinnacle of morality."

"What does that mean?! You know…forget it. This is the first time I've been out to have a good time in like…a month…so I'm not going to waste time letting you screw it up. Good evening, Snape."

Severus sneered as Harry slunk off. _'So he doesn't go out to have a good time? He's obviously not finding the right stud…I did not just think that. It's the alcohol. I may be lonely, and he may have looked like heaven when he came…no…no he didn't. I am not thinking this. This is Potter. I am only thinking about his behaviour in that club because I am amazed he has found something he can do well. So very well if that muggle's cries were anything to go by…stop it! Severus Tobias Snape, you need to get a grip!'_

Allowing his mental rant to come to a close, Severus refilled his whiskey glass and pretended to be interested in Arthur's latest tale of shenanigans in the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts office…


	3. Severus & Rook Collide

  
Author's notes: His childhood has caught up with him, and Harry's personality is fragmented. A one-night stand with Severus gets him pregnent, but if only your soul mate can impregnate you, what does this say for their mutual hatred? Harry sufferes from D.I.D., Sev's just a git!!!!  


* * *

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful & shiny Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

**To pre-empt any flames – There is a bit where Harry thinks to himself 'maybe alcoholism isn't so bad after all'. This is not my view; it is a little bit of black humour. So don't yell. Please.**

 

 

Harry sat quietly at the back of the community hall, listening to Jerry talk about the divorce that threw him into alcoholism. He'd been to two meetings already, and stayed silent through them all. How did he stand up and say 'I'm an alcoholic but I have no recollection of ever drinking'? More than once, Harry had questioned himself, but then he'd wake up on a Saturday with a thumping hangover and no memory of the previous night, and alcoholism was the only thing that fit. Harry hated it, not knowing, but what other explanation was there? It made him feel like he was in fourth year again; with someone else pulling all the strings and him just running to catch up, no idea which turn was which, thinking he was in control but he wasn't…

"Hi there."

Harry looked up and smiled at the man. He was tall, with sandy brown hair and deep blue eyes. Some part of Harry felt a shot of pure lust strike through him, and he was temporarily shocked by that, but recovered himself quickly. "Hi, I'm Harry."

"Cathal, pleased to meet you."

"Cathal, that's a unique name."

"It means courageous bear."

Harry raised an eyebrow, and the man grinned widely. "For real. Everyone calls me Cat, but it's a great ice-breaker!"

"Indeed it is. Your parents must have been very...ah…"

"They were doped up Latin students. So, I've not seen you here before this week?"

Harry tensed and stared down at his hands, suddenly unsure of himself. He didn't fully understand his situation himself, how was he supposed to explain it to someone who was obviously so open about his addiction.

"Hey, it took me three months of meetings to even be able to find the words to voice what was wrong with me. You're here, and that's the first step. I just wanted to come over and say hi, but if you'd like me to go, I can."

"No, I…uh…I guess I'm still working up to step one."

Cat smiled, and rested his hand on Harry's shoulder gently. "It's not a race, don't stress over it. I've gotta run, I have somewhere to be, but you'll be here next week, right?"

Harry nodded, and smiled at the man as he strode out of the room. With an arse like that, maybe alcoholism wasn't such a bad thing after all… 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus sat sipping whiskey as his eyes roamed the sweaty people on the dance floor. Lucius was being thoroughly manhandled by some muggle youth, but that wasn't what Severus was looking for. This was the third Friday in a row that he'd come to this ridiculous club in the hope that he'd see Harry. What Severus couldn't fathom was _why_ he wanted to see the Gryffindor so badly. He was nothing special, and at twenty-six was way too young for Severus. But his abs, even through the shirt Severus had seen how firm and toned they were. And his eyes, fluttering closed in ecstasy, raven locks framing his face, that thick, beautiful cock bouncing up and down…

Severus scowled, and downed the whiskey. He caught Lucius' eye and flashed him a look that said quite clearly 'I am going home'. Lucius nodded and returned to his boy-toy, and Severus stood up. He headed into the bathrooms to disapparate in private and almost fell over Harry.

"Oops, sorry darlin', gotta look where I'm going."

Severus raised an eyebrow at Harry, but the boy didn’t react to him like he expected. Instead, a shiver ran down his spine and a tan hand reached up to caress his cheek.

"Come on darlin', how about you let me wipe that scowl off your face?"

"Listen to me Potter…"

"Darlin', you've got me mixed up with some other hot young thing. I'm Rook. No first name, no last, just Rook. And guess what darlin'? Rook likes to suck, and I bet you got something real pretty hidden under those trousers."

Severus was so startled he didn't immediately recoil as Harry grabbed his groin and squeezed. Within seconds, Severus felt blood rushing to his groin and a satisfied smile bloomed over Harry's face. Severus shoved him back, but the rough treatment seemed only to turn him on more. "What are you playing at? Is this a game to you, Potter?"

"I've told you darlin', I'm Rook. But if you want, you can call me Potter. This can be a game, if that's what you'd like. What's your name?"

Severus shook his head, even as Rook…no, Harry…advanced on him, exuding sexuality out of every pore, his erection clear through his tight denims as his fingers opened the buttons of his shirt. "Come on darlin', it's just a little fun."

"I can't…"

"Nuh-uh, no such word as can't."

Severus couldn't fight the arousal coursing through him; this was a side of Harry he'd never seen before, and it was impossible to resist as the brunette pushed him onto the closed toilet seat and locked the door. Severus fought desperately with his body, but it wouldn't move, and all he could do was watch as Harry undid his trousers and pulled out his semi-hard prick. With an ease born of repetition, Harry's mouth slid over his prick, and the hot, wet cavern felt _so_ good. It had been so long since Severus had felt the touch of another, and it was intoxicating watching the Saviour’s head bobbing in his lap. Severus couldn't help it; he whined when Harry moved off him.

"There we go darlin', I knew you'd enjoy it."

Before he could react, Harry…Rook…the intoxicating man in front of him was undoing his jeans, pushing them down and letting them hang off one ankle, displaying his thick erection to Severus.

"Like what you see, darlin'?"

"Harry please…"

The brunette stopped, and cocked his head to one side. "What's with Harry? Did this guy hurt you?"

"No, it's…you…"

"I look like him? Well, how about you pin me against this wall, and work out all of your stress towards Harry on lil' ol' me?"

Severus shook his head, but he was standing up, moving the boy…man…into place, pushing his legs apart, pressing the head of his erection against the impossibly tight entrance…

"Lube?"

"Already prepared for you darlin'. Hit it home for me."

Severus hated himself. He was deranged; it was the only explanation for the fact that he thrust his hips forward; impaling Harry in one thrust that buried Severus to the hilt. And he was completely, utterly, totally mad when he silenced the scream ripping out of the brunette's lips with his mouth, plunging his tongue savagely into Harry's mouth as his hips set up a heady rhythm. Strong thighs wrapped around his back, and a tan hand slipped between their bodies to tug at Harry's cock, and Severus kept thrusting. He felt his orgasm coiling in his stomach and as spurts of cum jetted up between their bodies, landing on Severus' black jumper, he let loose, sinking his teeth into Harry's neck as his cock pulsed deep within the brunette.

Severus came to his senses, and pulled out of Harry roughly, earning himself a sharp look.

"Careful, darlin', you're gonna do me more damage than is necessary. I'm already gonna have scratches up my back from this."

"You'll enjoy it."

"That I will sweetness. I've gotta split, somewhere to be and all that jazz, but maybe I'll see you here next week." 

Severus didn't bother responding to the youth, just waited until the door had closed before apparating home, a bitter taste in his mouth that had nothing to do with the kisses, and everything to do with himself…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus had regressed back to age fifteen. It was the only thing that could explain the fact that it was Sunday, and he hadn't gotten out of bed since he’d gotten in on Friday night. He couldn't believe he'd lost his self-control and actually slept with the Potter brat. Add to that the fact that the brat was obviously playing some game, feigning ignorance of him, and it made Severus' blood boil. The next time he ran into the brat, he'd hex him senseless. That thought made Severus smile to himself, and he swung into a sitting position, sliding his feet into his slippers before heading downstairs to make a nice cup of tea…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry groaned, and leant back against the side of the bath. He felt sick, and had felt sick for a week. As a wave of nausea swept through him, he leant back over the toilet bowl and retched but nothing came. Spitting, he stood up and flushed the toilet, leaning on the sink and staring at himself in the mirror. There was something different about him, but he had no idea what. Running a hand over his stomach, he grimaced softly. It must have been something he'd eaten, but it didn't feel like food-poisoning, it felt different. He groaned again, and pushed away from the sink. Deciding that at a time like this there was only one course of action, Harry picked up his mobile and dialled swiftly.

"Hello?"

"Hi Charlie, it's Harry. Is Draco about?"

"Yeah, hang on. Draco!"

"What?"

"Harry, phone."

There was some indistinct chatter, and then Harry heard Draco on the other end of the phone.

"Hey scarhead. What's up?"

"Well…I don't really know. I feel kind of…odd."

"OK, odd how?"

"I can't explain it very well. I've been sick for about a week, and I just feel…odd. Could…could you squeeze me in sometime this week?"

"For you, scarhead, I can squeeze. Erm…how about nine tomorrow morning?"

"That sounds great. Thanks, Draco."

"Hey, what use is being friends with a Healer if you can't abuse that friendship every now and then. Will you be OK until tomorrow, or do you want me to come around now?"

"I'll be fine. It's probably nothing; I just want to be sure."

"OK. See you tomorrow then. Bye."

"Bye."

Harry clicked the phone off and sat down on his bed staring at his shoes. Draco was the finest Healer at Mungo's; he'd be able to tell Harry what was wrong and what to do about it. Feeling a little better, Harry headed downstairs to make a nice cup of tea…

 

 

 

**A/N – Harry doesn't know he's had sex after the fact because his magic would heal any damage while he slept. Just covering a plot-hole before anyone points it out, lol**


	4. Doctor Doctor I Think I'm...NO!

  
Author's notes: His childhood has caught up with him, and Harry's personality is fragmented. A one-night stand with Severus gets him pregnent, but if only your soul mate can impregnate you, what does this say for their mutual hatred? Harry sufferes from D.I.D., Sev's just a git!!!!  


* * *

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

 

Harry swung his legs off the edge of the bed as Draco scowled down at his clipboard. "What is it?"

"I don't know. You aren’t sick at all, according to this. Is there anything you aren't telling me?"

"No, I've told you every symptom I have."

Draco sighed and sat on the edge of the bed next to Harry, mirroring his friend's posture as he stared at the clipboard again. "OK, so your symptoms are nausea and feeling odd. How about in the rest of your life?"

Draco would have had to be on a different continent to miss his friend's flinch, and he turned to look at Harry carefully. "Whatever you say stays in this room. I'm your Healer and I'm not going to gossip about what you tell me."

"I'm…I'm an alcoholic."

"What?"

"I drink until I pass out every Friday night."

Draco just looked at the brunette blankly, then shook his head as if trying to clear it of water. "Harry, you are not an alcoholic."

"I am. I hide it and…"

"No, you aren't. Alcoholics have signs, internal damage to their liver and the like, that would flash up on a diagnostic spell. You have none of that. It's standard practice to cast a charm to show alcohol consumption, and you haven't had anywhere near enough to even qualify as a borderline alcoholic. What on earth made you think you were?"

"Because…I go to bed on a Friday night and when I wake up on a Saturday I have the mother of all hangovers and I can’t remember anything of the night before."

"I can't…that isn’t the answer. Let me go and get a colleague and I'll be right back."

Draco didn't wait for Harry's approval; he left the room quickly and cornered his secretary. "Alicia, can you cancel all of my appointments today please?"

"Yes Healer Malfoy. Shall I reschedule them?"

"Yes, for some time next week. I'll work Wednesday to catch up. Is Healer McGuire in?"

"Yes, he's in his office."

Draco nodded and went to find his colleague…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Healer McGuire backed very carefully out of Harry's mind and smiled softly at the man. "You did great; I just need to look over your other test results with Healer Malfoy and then you'll be free to go, OK? Healer Malfoy, a word please."

Draco shot Harry a reassuring smile and followed his colleague out into the hallway.

"How long has Mr. Potter been exhibiting the symptoms of memory loss?" 

"He said for a while. Eight, nine months. Did you find out what it is?"

"Yes, but I cannot help him."

"Why…what is it?"

"Mr. Potter is suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder."

"Multiple Personalities?"

"Yes."

"No, he can't…no…"

"Healer Malfoy, Harry has very clear recollections of those losses, but they are locked away from him, accessible only to one part of him, which is currently lying low in his mind."

Draco felt all the breath leave his body and he sank into a chair. "But he seems so…"

"Normal? From what I could tell, and from what you told me, only one personality is active, though there is no way for me to tell how many other dormant personalities there are."

"How…how could none of us…"

"Unless you witnessed one of Mr. Potter's alter-egos, you would not have known. Those suffering from this disorder are able to live each personality independently of the others."

"How…what do we do?"

"There is no quick fix, you know that. Mr. Potter will need a potion to stabilise his mind, therapy to discover the cause and unite his psyche, and a lot of support. When his personalities become aware of each other they will conflict and it will take a hell of a lot for him to pull out of this. He needs to be told, as quickly as is possible. Once we've told him, I shall go and see Healer Radcliffe and inform him that he has a new patient." 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"No."

"Harry I know…"

"No. This is not happening! I am not a fucking lunatic!"

"Harry, we know you aren't. But this…Harry, we've run the diagnostic tests, you've seen the results; this is real."

"No! It…I can't…I'm not…"

Draco nodded at his colleague and the Healer stepped out of the room, leaving Draco free to wrap his arms around his sobbing friend and hold him tightly. "Shush, come on Harry…you'll be…you aren't on your own, you've got me to help you."

"Everyone…knows…"

"No one knows except you, me, Healer McGuire and Healer Radcliffe. Healer Radcliffe is a therapist and he’ll be able to help you get better."

"Don't...want…"

"I know you don't, but your friends and family love you dearly. I know you don't really understand what's happening to you right now. I don’t fully understand, but I know it will be difficult to get better and you'll need all the help you can get. Harry, love, trust in us, OK? I haven't recoiled from you, and I was probably odds-on favourite to be a dick, considering our history."

Harry shook his head and pulled away from the embrace, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "Is that why I've been sick."

"Well…no. That…uhm…Harry, when you think that you're drunk, you're not. That's when one of your alter-personalities takes over. So you do have a hangover in the mornings, but you haven't been drinking, your alter has. Harry you've…when it's one of the other personalities, you have sex."

"NO!"

"Harry please calm down."

"No, Draco no I don't I can't I wouldn't I can't I'm not please I'm not I'm not I'm…"

"Harry, you're pregnant."

Draco was expecting a lot of outcomes, but he was not expecting Harry to disapparate. Swearing loudly, he grabbed his wand from the table and disapparated to Ron and Hermione's…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Draco, I don't understand!"

"Hermione! He's sick, and he isn’t coping with it well. I need you to help me find him!"

"Draco, I can't just leave the kids…"

"We'll drop them off at the fucking Burrow, just hurry up!"

"Draco! Don't you dare speak like that in my home!"

Draco swore again and hung his head, taking a deep breath before looking up and meeting Hermione's eyes. "Sorry. Hermione, I can't tell you what's wrong with him, but he's sick and I'm afraid that he is going to do something really stupid. Please, I only know his hang-outs from after the war; you knew him before then, he might be somewhere I wouldn't look. Please, Hermione, please."

Hermione saw the panic, saw the normally cool and calm Malfoy on the verge of tears, and nodded, grabbing things and tossing them into a bag as she yelled, "Louisa! Get your brothers and stand by the fire, we're going to Grandma's."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

They'd been searching all day and Hermione shook her head as Draco came out of the Three Broomsticks looking sick. "He wasn't in there and no one's seen him."

"Draco, when…I need you to tell me what's up with him."

"I can't. Hermione please, I could lose my job."

"I know…but…look; he can never know I've broken this confidence, OK?"

Draco nodded and sat down heavily on a bench as Hermione dropped down next to him, wringing her hands as she chewed her bottom lip. "When…Harry had something…almost like a crush, on Cedric. He blamed himself totally for Cedric's death. One night, in fifth year, he came to me in floods of tears. He said that he'd gone up to the Astronomy Tower because he wanted to die, but that he couldn't…he didn’t have the courage to jump off. What's happening to him now, is it a physical or a mental problem?"

"It started mental but has become physical. Hermione…"

"You can never tell anyone what I just told you. Come on, he may be there now if things are as bad as you say."

"Hermione, what if…"

"I can't think about that right now. Let's just get to the Tower and go from there."

Draco nodded and set off at a run. The wards on Hogwarts would prevent them apparating in and he only hoped the two of them could run fast enough…


	5. Hi My Name's Harry And I'm A Lunatic

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful, talented, and surprisingly shiny Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

**The title is meant tongue in cheek**

 

 

Draco and Hermione could barely breathe, but they kept going, both of them feeling the burn in their legs as they rushed up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. It was the highest point of Hogwarts and Hermione knew that Harry's bad memories of this place far outweighed the good. She entered the little room at the very top of the tower and glanced around wildly. Harry wasn't here; there hadn't been a body on the floor when they were outside, but if he'd jumped while they were running up… Hermione felt tears well up in her eyes as she ran to the window, leaning over and peering down to the ground ¬while Draco leant next to her. It was mid-afternoon and they had a clear view of the grass below; it was empty.

"Hi, my name's Harry and I'm a lunatic."

Hermione spun round and saw Harry sat huddled in a corner of the room. Staying silent, she crossed over to him and dropped to her knees, pulling her friend into a brutal hug. "Don't…don't you ever do that to me again."

Harry clung to Hermione and breathed in deeply. Her hair still smelled of coconuts; residue from the shampoo she used. Her hair had always smelled of coconuts. It was strangely reassuring that in the midst of all this turmoil, Hermione was still the same. Harry laughed and felt as Hermione drew back to look at him. "What's so funny, Harry?"

"You smell of coconuts."

Hermione sighed and moved to a more comfortable position to sit next to Harry as Draco mirrored her, taking the brunette's other side and exhaling slowly. They sat in silence for a while until Harry broke the reverie in a tired voice.

"Has Draco told you?"

"He's told me that you're unwell and that you're going to need a lot of support, but that's it."

"And what did you tell him, to get him up here?"

"The…I told him the truth, in broad strokes. Are you angry?"

"Which version of me do you want to answer that?"

"I don't understand?"

Harry sighed and folded his legs, leaning his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands. Speaking in a deceptively even voice, he told Hermione what was wrong. "I'm not an alcoholic, I have Multiple Personality Disorder. The Friday nights that I lose, that's when another personality takes over. And apparently that personality is a whore, because I am now pregnant. I don't think I can cope with this."

Hermione didn’t know what to say; her mind was reeling from this and she looked over at Draco. The blonde nodded to confirm Harry's words and Hermione sighed softly. "No, alone you can't cope. This is…it's bad, isn't it?"

Draco nodded again and rested his head in his hands, trying to block out reality with his fingers. "Harry, what do you know of male pregnancy?"

"That a male wizard can only get pregnant by his soul mate."

"That's right. This man, he will have felt an inexplicable pull to you, even when it was your alter controlling your body. Once we find him, we can perform a simple test to establish paternity and then we start on getting you better. It's my professional and personal opinion that you need to find the father before we do anything else."

"And how do I do that, Draco? I don't remember having sex with anyone, let alone connecting with someone that I'd want to spend my life with. This has been going on for months! Where do I even start?! And even if I do find him, like he'll want me! I'm a goddamn psycho, Draco. With all my shit I wouldn’t blame someone for not wanting to take me on, but now I have an unknown number of other personalities, all with their own shit, and I just…"

Harry's voice trailed off under his tears and he felt Hermione's arms around him again. For several long minutes she just allowed him to sob, but when she spoke it was in a tone Harry hadn't heard since she uttered the immortal words _'I'm going to bed before you get us all killed. Or worse, expelled!'_. "If you ever, ever refer to yourself as a 'psycho' again, I will hex your good for nothing arse all around England, baby or no baby, you understand me?"

"Y-yes."

"Good. Now, this is what we're going to do. We are going to get you better. I have very little information about Multiple Personalities, but I'll research later. What I do know is that it will be a long process and it will get worse before it gets better. So far, myself, you and Draco are the only people that know besides your designated therapist. You do not have to tell anyone else, but I strongly advise that you do because the more people that know, the more people that can help you. Draco was wrong, our first goal is to get you a therapy session so you can form some kind of working relationship with your therapist. Next, we work out who you want to tell and how you want to do it. Then, we start on figuring out who the other father is. From what I know about male pregnancy, it's likely to be a wizard. And, as no one's been blabbing to the press about having bedded you, it’s safe to assume it's a wizard that either knows you, or is very private. Have I said anything that you don't understand?"

Harry couldn't speak; he could only shake his head softly in response. Somehow, Hermione had managed to get a hold on the crux of the problem and formulate a plan of action, and all Harry could do was stare open-mouthed at the whole mess. But that was Hermione – she dived into the middle of the ocean and started swimming while everyone else was testing the water with their toes…

"Right, now that we're all clear, can we please leave here because it gives me the creeps. Draco, can we use your office to talk?"

"Yeah, my appointments for today were cancelled."

"Good. You and Harry go there and find out who his therapist is. Schedule a session as soon as you can. I'll be there shortly, I just need to appease Molly and check on the baby. Why are you boys still sitting on the floor?"

As she'd been speaking, Hermione had stood up, brushed herself off, and tied her hair up in a loose ponytail while Draco and Harry were still sat on the floor looking up at her in amazement. She clucked her tongue irritably to get them moving and they walked out of Hogwarts in relative silence. Hermione apparated to the Burrow as Draco took Harry's arm and apparated them directly into his office. He sat Harry down on the couch and shook his head softly. "Hermione is…wow."

"Yeah. Draco I…"

"I know. But Hermione is right; the quicker we move, the less time you have to dwell. I know you, Harry, and I know Hermione. She's got the right idea."

"Yeah."

Draco smiled, and headed over to his desk. There was a sheet of parchment on it from Healer Radcliffe, saying that he could see Harry the next morning, and a sheet with all Draco's rescheduled appointments on it from Alicia. Hermione arrived not long after and flopped down onto the sofa.

"What did you say?"

"That things were under control, that I wouldn't let anything happen to you, and that you'd talk when you were ready. Ron's going to stay with the kids for tea at the Burrow, so we can go and get something to eat at ¬my house in a while. Who's your therapist?"

"Healer Radcliffe."

"He's good, he worked with Neville's parents and got them having brief conversations with their son before they…well, he's very good."

Harry smiled and laced his fingers through Hermione's. "I just don't understand how I could not know. How did this even happen to me?"

Draco pulled the chair out from his desk and moved it to sit with his friends, crossing his legs and pinching the bridge of his nose. "From what I understand, Multiple Personality. is caused by a great trauma during childhood and early adolescence, when your mind is forming itself. As a way of coping with that trauma, things don't get filed the way they should, and then later on in life your psyche splits off into fragments."

"But I didn’t have any great trauma!"

"Harry! You were nearly killed as a baby! Just because you can't remember it doesn't mean that it didn’t affect you deeply. Then you had eleven years with those bastards treating you like the hired help and barely sustaining your life, then magic comes rushing into your life, then Voldemort comes back, and from the ages of twelve to nineteen you were engrossed in a seven-year battle with a maniac! You’ve had the press hounding you, people trying to murder you, me and my fucking idiotic prejudices couldn’t have helped and…"

Harry reached forward and cut Draco off mid-rant, laying his hand over Draco's and staring passionately into steel-grey eyes. "This is not your fault."

Draco sighed and took Harry's hand in both of his, squeezing gently. "I know, but it isn't yours either. I just…I'm a trained Healer, Harry. I should have noticed."

"Like I noticed? I've been going to AA meetings for a month!"

Harry knew it was irrational, but he saw a slight smirk curve Draco's lips and it set him off. Within seconds, tears were streaming down his face as he laughed so hard he was sure to have ruptured something. Draco watched as Harry clung onto his sides and cried with laughter, and he couldn't help it; he joined in. The sight of Hermione looking aghast at both of them just pushed the blonde further into mania, and he howled with laughter as Hermione finally cracked a smile and joined them in their strange, but therapeutic, hysterics.

Harry finally regained his wits and wiped his eyes as he took a couple of deep breaths, waiting for his friends to calm down. "I feel better for that. You guys…you'll stick with me, right?"

Hermione regained herself first and leant over to give Harry a soft kiss on the cheek. "Always, Harry. We fought Dark Lord's with you, what's a little mental illness between friends?"

Draco nodded his agreement, but his words were cut off when his stomach growled loudly, and the other two raised their eyebrows at him in mock irritation. "Sorry, but I haven't eaten today!"

"Then let's go home and eat. There's a lot to talk about, but we won't get anywhere on empty stomachs."

 

 

 

**A/N – From now on, most chapters will start with a snippet of one of Harry's therapy sessions, which will introduce the main theme of that chapter. The therapy session may have taken place before, during or after the events of the chapter, but that doesn't really matter; think of it as a summary of each chapter.**


	6. Severus & Harry Collide

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

 

_"I understand your reluctance Harry, but have the reactions of Mrs. Weasley and Healer Malfoy not shown you that no one will recoil from you?"_

_"They have. I guess I'm just…I'm scared."_

_"Can you tell me what it is that scares you?"_

_"Rejection. And…I don't…I don’t want to be a burden on anyone. They all have their own lives, jobs and families and I just…I kind of float along at the edge. I'm not really anything."_

_"I don’t believe that. You work as an Auror, no?"_

_"Yeah, but just…it's mainly lip-service. They want to be able to say 'Oh Harry Potter works for us', but I don't really do much. Just show up at functions and look pretty."_

_"And you dislike that?"_

_"I guess it's alright, but I want my life to mean something."_

_"From Healer Malfoy's talk, your life means a great deal to a great many people. And your impending fatherhood will make you the sun and the moon in someone's life very soon."_

_"Yeah…I suppose…"_

_"Harry, your fighting in the war against Voldemort saved a great many people. It's alright for you to be the one needing help every now and then."_

_"I'm just so scared."_

_"It's OK to be scared too. No man is an island Harry, and anyone that turns away from you for this wasn't a friend to begin with."_

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry smiled at Lucius as the blonde walked into the kitchen at the Burrow and took a seat next to Draco. This was everyone – the Weasleys, Hermione, Draco, Lucius, Remus and Tonks. These were all the people that he was going to have to tell and Harry was suddenly struck by a wave of fear. He fought to get his breath and was relieved when Hermione reached out to hold his hand softly.

"It's OK; take as much time as you need."

"Thanks. OK, this is probably going to come as a shock to most of you, Merlin knows it was a shock to me, but if you can just let me talk, when I'm done I'll try to answer your questions."

Harry waited until he'd gotten a nod from everyone in the room before beginning to speak in a low voice. "The past nine months or so I've been…I've gone to bed on a Friday night and when I wake up on a Saturday I've had the mother of all hangovers, and no recollection of what I've done. I thought…I thought I was an alcoholic, so I started going to A.A. meetings. But then I got sick…not badly sick, just nausea and feeling odd. So I went to see Draco. He…uh…he found out that I…it wasn't alcohol that was wiping my memory. I uhm…I have…I have Multiple Personality Disorder. Draco called in another Healer who confirmed this. I have no recollection of what's happened on those nights because it wasn't me that lived them, it was an alternate personality. Healer Radcliffe…I've seen him this week, and I'll have to see him every week for a long time, but he says that I have one active alter and that there is no way to tell how many dormant alters I have. They could come into play at any time and I would have no idea what they had done while they were in charge of my body.

To get better, I'll have to take a potion, and have a lot of therapy, and Healer Radcliffe has warned me that things will get worse. So far, my personalities aren’t aware of each other. Once they become aware of each other they will conflict and I'll go through hell with it. I'm telling you all tonight because…because I'm going to need a lot of help. I understand if any of you can’t deal with this, but I…uh…I'm probably going to start displaying the other personalities when they become aware of each other and fight for dominance."

There was silence, so Harry stared at the table as he continued in a bare whisper. "The sickness was because…when my alter takes over…I…uh…he…well, we, really…we uh…sleep around. And I'm…I'm pregnant."

There was a crash as Ron dropped his mug of coffee and Harry flinched, waiting for the torrent of abuse that he just knew would come. There was complete silence for a moment before Ron's voice sounded out, trembling as the redhead obviously fought to control himself. "How can…how do we help?"

"I know you probably hate me but…what?"

Ron closed his eyes and breathed deeply before fixing Harry with an even stare. "Without you, I'd be dead. Not injured or maimed, but dead. As in, no longer breathing, dead. You have had a fucked up life, Harry and you do not deserve this. So how do I help?"

"I…uh…I don't know."

Draco saw Harry struggling and spoke gently to the room, taking the heat off the brunette. "For now, we need to work out who the father could be. Harry could only be pregnant if he slept with his soul mate, so we need to find this man."

"OK, so which of your boyfriends do you love the most? That's a logical place to start, right?"

Harry shook his head, and tears welled up in his eyes as he talked to Ron's shoulder. "None of them. I was…uh…waiting for the right guy, the right time, and now I just…I've been going out to bars and fucking anything I could, so I have no idea who I've slept with. Up until they told me I was pregnant I thought I was…I believed I was a virgin."

This silence lasted even longer, and Harry buried his head in his arms, unable to control his tears as they leaked silently down his face. He heard the scrape of a chair and felt warm arms wrap around his shoulders. "Come on Mate, it isn’t that bad. We'll work something out, we always do. And anyways, you are a virgin, it’s just this alter that isn't. So when we've found your soul mate, you can sleep with him as Harry and all will be well."

Harry raised his head and looked at Ron in disbelief. "Ron, I could have caught anything, done anything, and I was saving…"

"Yes, you've said all this. Look, if you'd caught something, Draco would have found it when he checked you out, right? And virginity is more of a mental thing, you know? As in, loving someone. You haven’t done that yet, you've just had sex. Focus on the emotional bit, because Merlin knows we can’t change the physical stuff."

Harry didn’t know how to respond, so he just collapsed back into his arms again. Ron still had a hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles as Harry fought to regain his calm. He was almost there when he heard the one voice that he really didn't need to hear right now.

"What's all this?"

Harry snapped his head up and glared at Severus, but his smart reply was cut off by a shot of arousal. Harry was momentarily certain that the best thing to do would be to jump Sev right here, but then he regained himself, and put it down to hormones. He opened his mouth to reply, but Lucius had gotten there first. 

"Harry's pregnant."

There were many ways Severus could have reacted to that, but Harry could not quite believe what the snarky old bastard said.

"Serves him right for being a whore. Now, Lucius, I have the latest…"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!"

"Feigning innocence now because it suits you best? Or is your pregnancy the new Immaculate Conception?"

Harry stood up abruptly and glared at Severus, who was matching him furiously as everyone else looked at the two of them in horror.

"You know nothing about me you greasy old bat."

"I know that you're a slut and that this was bound to happen sooner or later. Now if you are done…"

"I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF EVER HAVING SEX! I HAVE FUCKING MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER! SOME PSYCHO ALTER-PERSONALITY HAS BEEN RUNNING AROUND HAVING SEX WITH MY BODY, SO DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME A WHORE!"

"That's what you're claiming then? Explains why you feigned ignorance of me."

"What?"

"Oh dear, are you not playing 'I'm Rook. No first name, no last, just Rook' today?"

Harry looked at Severus blankly, and saw the older man sneer. "Not so quick to deny yourself now. You're a whore and a liar. You deserve everything you get."

Severus was angry – once again the boy had made himself the centre of attention and in his anger Severus had completely forgotten why he'd wanted to find Lucius so urgently. He growled, and was about to turn and leave when Harry spoke softly, his eyes burning with pure hatred. "Did you have sex with me?"

"Regrettably, yes."

"Why?"

"Why not? You were throwing yourself at every other man in that blasted club and you threw yourself at me, feigning ignorance of me, and acting like I was just another guy at the bar. We fucked and you left, no doubt to find another cock to hang off."

Harry was shaking so badly he couldn't speak, but he forced it out, grinding his teeth as he spoke to the stupid old man. "You hate me, why would you do that?"

"Temporary insanity, I don't know. Believe me, Potter, while it seemed like a good idea at the time, I now bitterly regret it!"

The two men faced off, and in a quiet tone Draco voiced what was slowly dawning on Harry. "Harry's soul mate would feel an inexplicable pull to him."

"Don't be ridiculous, I am not…"

"Oh please god no."

Draco stood up and grabbed Severus roughly by the wrist, dragging him round to where Harry stood and growling at the brunette as he tried to back away, slamming into the cabinets. "Put your hand on his stomach while I perform the test."

"I am not going to…."

"JUST FUCKING DO IT, SEVERUS!"

Draco yanked Severus' hand and placed it on Harry's abdomen. The silence was crushing as Draco performed the spell, and Harry's abdomen briefly glowed gold. Everyone looked at Draco, who was careful not to poke out his eye with his wand as he covered his face with his hands. "That’s a positive paternity test."


	7. Slow Clapping Equals Unimpressed Molly

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

 

_"So, you found the father?"_

_"Yes. I can't…I hate him!"_

_"And yet, for the two of you to have conceived, there must be a connection."_

_"Then he's connected to Rook! I want nothing to do with the slimy, greasy bastard! He sits there on his high horse, but why didn't he question when I started throwing myself at him?! Why did he just use me like some common whore?"_

_"No one thinks you’re a whore, Harry."_

_"He does! I can't…they're saying I have to marry him!"_

_"You don’t have to do anything you don't want to do. But yes, in wizarding society, it is expected that a child's parents be wed."_

_"That's what they all said! I can't do this! My entire life has been destroyed in three weeks! I hate this!"_

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus opened one eye and found himself looking up into Lucius' face. 

"Get up; we're going to the Burrow."

"No, I want nothing to do…"

"You know something? You gave up the right to be snarky when you fucked the boy. Get up, Severus, because this isn't just about you anymore. Harry is really sick, and whatever you feel for him, the child he carries is yours."

Severus grumbled but got up reluctantly and pulled on his usual black robes. After Harry had passed out cold the night before, Severus had found himself unceremoniously thrown out by an irate Molly Weasley. Lucius had returned later in the evening and proceeded to fill Severus in on the basics. Severus was now fully aware that he was the soul mate of the Boy Who Lived. And that the Boy Who Lived had Multiple Personality Disorder. And was pregnant. With his child. Severus groaned as he pulled his outer robe on and swept down the stairs, finding Lucius in the kitchen.

"Let's go."

"Get some breakfast first, I doubt Molly is inclined to feed you right now."

"It took two of us…"

"Harry wasn't in his right mind! Honestly Severus, how could he have given informed consent? If you weren't so hell bent on being a bastard, you’d realise that his entire life has changed and he is facing the horrendous task of trying to repair his sanity while bringing up a child alone. The least…the very least…you can do is shut up and think of someone who isn't yourself. If you don't want breakfast then get your idiot-arse in the floo and go grovel."

"I am not going to grovel! I did nothing wrong!"

"OK. Do you honestly believe that Harry is the type of man to play a game like that? To feign ignorance of who you are and fuck you in a seedy toilet?"

Severus squirmed uncomfortably. He hid this outwardly, but inside he squirmed all the same. In the cold, objective light of day, ¬he could see that Harry wasn't that kind of person. Severus couldn’t explain why he hadn't done the right thing and gotten the boy help, instead of giving in to his baser instincts. Refusing to concede defeat, he stayed silent and followed Lucius into the floo…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry peeled open one eye and groaned softly. He was in Ron's old room, and the events of the previous night came back to him in a rush. He'd passed out, but why? Oh yeah…because Snape was the father of his child. Harry felt a wave of nausea hit him that had nothing to do with the child inside of him and everything to do with the idea of Snape touching him, seeing him like no one had ever seen him before…

"But that's not true. Hundreds of people have seen me, and I have no idea who or when or where or how." 

Somehow, berating himself vocally jarred Harry into action and he spelled his clothes clean and un-crumpled before heading downstairs. As he approached the kitchen, he heard slow clapping and paused to peer into the room. Everyone was back, because it was a Saturday and no one had work, they were just giving up their free time for him. He watched as Molly glared at Severus, clapping slowly as she hissed menacingly at the dour-faced wizard.

"Oh well done Severus. You've finally done what you've been promising to do for years and destroyed Harry's life. You realise that what you've done is tantamount to rape?"

"Harry was willing!"

"Really? Then why does he have no recollection of it? And why did the very knowledge that you had fathered his child knock him out cold? You're a disgrace to the name of wizard!"

"Molly, leave him. What's done is done and none of us can go back."

Molly swung round as Harry's voice alerted her to his presence, then sighed as she saw him leant on the doorframe looking tired and pale. "I'm sorry Harry, I didn’t mean to upset you."

"You haven't. But it's going to be counter-productive if we all yell at Severus, so I think that all yelling should be left to me. I've earned it."

Molly nodded and headed to the kettle, pouring Harry some tea as he moved to lean on the counter next to her. Harry studied Severus carefully and when he spoke it was with a lot more confidence than he felt. "So you're my soul mate. I guess my masochistic side runs deeper than any of us thought. But I am carrying a child and it is yours. So this is what is going to happen. You are going to pay child support to me. That is non-negotiable. If you think for a minute that I am going to lie down and let you walk all over me, you are wrong. If paying child support means you have to go without something, then you go without. The part that you play in this child's life is up to you, but know this: if you want to be a father to my child, then you will be a father for the duration of its life, not just until you get bored. If that's a decision you can't make, then I will make it for you and we both know what my decision will be. I don't care what biology and precedent says; I want nothing to do with you in any capacity other than as parents. I hate you and I will never, ever forgive you for taking advantage of me like you did. I cannot even begin to comprehend how much you must hate me to be able to use me like you did and I'm not sure I want to. That's all I have to say to you right now."

Harry took his tea and drank deeply, silently proud of himself for not trembling. Everyone was looking at him, so no one saw the look in Severus' eyes…

Severus watched Harry and felt something stir inside of him. Whatever he thought of the idiotic brat, he was strong and sure about his actions, and he carried Severus' child. Taking a deep breath, Severus nodded gently. "I wish to be a part of the child's life. You are as aware of Wizarding society as I am; you know that it would be better for the child if we were wed. If what Lucius has told me is accurate, then you will get worse before you get better, and once the child comes you will need even more help. My house is big enough that we may both live individual lives and there will always be someone around in case you take a bad turn."

"No. I am not marrying you or living with you or…"

Surprisingly, it was Ron who spoke up. "Harry, you'd just have to be married until the child was born and registered with the Ministry. It would be better and it would make everything easier. After that, you can divorce the slimy bastard. And you're going to need someone to do things for you; might as well make Snivellus pay for his mistake by making his life hell for nine months. Just make sure the pre-nup is tight."

Harry could have cried but he knew, deep down, that Ron was right. Sighing, he scowled at his tea as he growled at Severus. "Fine, but it's a quiet, civil ceremony. No pomp and ribbons, just a piece of paper that says we're wed. There will be no announcement; I want this kept out of the papers."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

"I own the Prophet; I'll do what I like."

Severus choked on his tongue in shock and Harry smiled wryly. "Yep, I own it. My investments made a lot of money and I spent it wisely. Haven't you noticed that there hasn't been anything detrimental about me in the papers for years?"

"I haven't cared to look."

"No, it figures. You can take advantage of me when I'm having a psychotic episode, but read an article on me? Never!"

"Listen here…"

"No, you listen here! You gave up the right to treat me like shit when you basically raped me! We do this my way, or I take you to court and tell this child that their father is dead!"

"You wouldn't! They'd find out and…"

"You honestly think that I couldn’t kill you off without anyone noticing? And even if they did notice – I'm a lunatic, or have you forgotten? I'll claim temporary insanity, and I'll be left alone to be happy! We do this my way, understand me?! Now, we should do this stupid wedding soon, and I am not moving in with you. You can come to Grimmauld Place, it's larger and I've got it to my likings. You want to make something of it, go right ahead."

"You arrogant, self-centred…"

"But I’m not, you see. I'm not doing what's best for me. Best for me would be trying to cause you as much pain as you've caused me. Keeping you in my life, however much I abhor you, is the best cause of action for my child. I am the fucking Boy Who Lived, and I refuse to be beaten by this. I've fought bigger enemies that my own psyche, and if you think that you are even a ripple in the ocean of my priorities, you are sadly mistaken. Lucius will tell you when I've scheduled the wedding and you'll move your things into Grimmauld Place after that. Until then, I don’t want anything to do with you, understand?"

Severus was so angry he couldn't see straight and it was only the knowledge that Harry was carrying _his_ baby that stopped him strangling the brunette with his bare hands. Without saying a word, Severus slammed open the kitchen door and stormed out, needing to walk off his anger before he even attempted to apparate…

"Was that necessary?"

"I'm sorry Lucius, should I have thanked him for fucking me and getting me pregnant, then calling me a whore in front of my friends and family, all without my consent?"

Lucius flinched slightly at the venom in Harry's voice and the young man shook his head softly as a battle raged in emerald eyes. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm really trying not to think about blame, but if anyone is at fault here, it's him. I have enough to cope with without worrying about Snape's feelings. I need some air, I'm sorry."

Silence resumed as Harry walked out of the open door and headed slowly towards the village. For a few long minutes, no one said anything, and then Molly spoke softly. "Is it wise to let this happen? With Harry so unstable…"

"He isn't unstable Mum; he's just…trying to cope. All the paperwork of a new baby, it'll go that much smoother if they're married. Believe me; I'll be heralding in the divorce as soon as the sprog is breathing independently."

"You know, this is my godfather we're talking about."

Ron turned to Draco and fixed him with an incredulous glare. "You think he's in the _right_?!"

"No, Ron, of course I don't. But I do know that male-male conception requires a soul-bond. Whatever you think of Severus, something about him attracted Harry, something about him makes him Harry's soul mate. Maybe if we all focused on being supportive instead of derivative, they'd both have the space to work out why they're drawn to each other." 

Ron snorted. "You can not actually think that Snape and Harry have a chance together!"

Draco lost his temper and stood up, angrily brushing Charlie's hand off his arm as he fixed Ron with the Malfoy GlareTM. "With your helpful input? About as much chance as a snowball in hell. I'm obviously an idiot for seeing that two men are connected on a soul-level due to the fact they have conceived a child, and this **could not have happened** without a soul-bond, and for wanting two of the most important people in my life to be happy. I am obviously a complete twat for thinking that if they just stop sniping at each other for five minutes they might see that they have more in common than they might think, and that their strengths and weaknesses compliment each other. And I must be a total fucking lunatic for thinking that two people can change and fall for each other even when every second of their life up to that point has been about hating each other, because who am I except the fucking Slytherin Ice-Bastard that married a goddamn Weasley! What the fuck would I know, right?!" 

Fearing for his own sanity, Draco stormed out of the house, ignoring his husband's calls as he headed down to the village to find Harry; someone with a modicum of sense in him…


	8. It's My Wedding And I'll Hex My Husband If I Want To!

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

 

_"So the wedding went well then?"_

_"I hated every minute of it. I had…it wasn't a bad childhood, but it wasn't puppies and ice-cream either. I guess…I promised myself that I wouldn't let my child grow up in anything other than a loving setting. I had all these dreams, all these ideas about falling in love and settling down with someone, and now I've lost it all."_

_"Sometimes, the true nature of things is hidden from us."_

_"You think I should give Snape a chance?"_

_"I think something in you is drawn to him."_

_"Question is, which something? I can't…to me, sex is…it should mean something. He used me to get his rocks off and now I'm paying the price. I'm terrified that I am going to resent this child."_

_"I don’t believe you will; the bond between father and child is stronger than almost anything else."_

_"Stronger than Rook?"_

_"Yes. Rook is only as strong as you let him be. Have you had an episode recently?"_

_"No, I think the stress of everything else has knocked all of me for six. But it's been a month; I'm living on borrowed time."_

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry opened one eye and peered at the clock. He couldn't quite believe that today he was getting married. The thought made him feel sick and he staggered to the bathroom unsteadily, dropping to his knees and retching into the toilet. When he'd thrown up everything he could, Harry stood up and flushed, grabbing his toothbrush and brushing his teeth vigorously while he looked in the mirror. Male pregnancy was harder, because the body isn’t really equipped for it. He'd suffer morning sickness pretty much from start to finish, have crazy hormone-induced mood swings, and Harry couldn’t even bring himself to read about what would happen at the birth.

Sighing, he spat and rinsed, running a hand through his hair as he stared at his reflection. He didn’t show the pregnancy yet. Harry looked at himself critically. All those men, they must have seen something in him, but no matter how hard he studied, he just couldn't see it. Giving up, he splashed cold water on his face and rubbed it off with the towel before heading back into his room to find something to wear…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus stayed perfectly still as he stood in the little room where the marriage was to be performed. Everyone that knew of Harry's condition was present, and all but Draco and Lucius were casting him evil glares. Severus let it roll off him; he hadn’t been such a good spy because he let people's opinions affect him, and glanced at his clock. The ceremony had been scheduled for 10, it was now a quarter past. He was about to comment, when the door opened and Harry walked in. For the briefest moment, Severus felt his heart speed up. The brunette was wearing his tight, dark jeans, and his white dress shirt; the outfit he'd been wearing when they fucked, and he was beautiful.

But that was only a split-second and Severus returned to hating the boy in record time. "I see your time-keeping is impeccable, as always."

"Well, I had to get my outfit just right. I asked Healer Radcliffe to try and find out what I was wearing that night and he managed it. I figured as you liked me in this so much, I should wear it. That way, the photos immortalise exactly _why_ we're doing this."

Severus sneered and turned his back on Harry, facing the officiator, who looked completely lost. However, turning his back couldn’t deafen him, and he heard Draco's anxious voice questioning Harry. "You remember?"

"Nope, but Healer Radcliffe was able to access the first part of the memories, when I was getting ready and going out. It’s not a good thing Dray, it means Rook is becoming aware that he isn’t alone, and it means that soon I'm going to be battling for control of my own body. Can we get on with this?"

Harry stepped next to Severus and glared at the officiator, who jumped into action. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here…"

"Listen, skip the crap, forget the vows, and just do the marriage bit."

Harry always got what he wanted, and the officiator skipped forward a few pages before looking up at Severus. "Do you, Severus Tobias Snape, take Harry James Potter to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Yes."

"And do you, Harry James Potter, take Severus Tobias Snape to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Suppose."

"I now pronounce you married in the eyes of Merlin and the Ministry. You may…uh…kiss…or not."

"Or not. Where do I sign?"

The officiator held out the forms and Harry scrawled his name on the bottom of each before turning to glare at Snape. "I'll lift the wards at seven, they'll go back down at five past. If you don’t come within that time-period, I'll assume you aren’t coming at all and file for divorce. Try and die before then, please?"

"Harry…"

"Ron, it is my wedding and I'll yell at or hex my husband if I want to. I have places to be, thanks for all coming today, hope you had a great time."

Harry stormed out barely five minutes after he'd entered, leaving his friends and family flabbergasted in his wake.

"Well, that was the shortest wedding I've ever officiated over."

"With any luck it will be the shortest marriage. Who the hell does he think he is giving me ultimatums?!"

Severus didn’t get a response, but he didn’t really expect one. Adding his scrawl to the forms, he swept his robes tighter around him and stalked out of the little room, heading back to Spinner's End and packing his belongings with a wave of his wand. He didn't want this, but he didn’t know how to fight it. Severus was a lot of things, but he'd pretended to be even more. The thing Severus had pretended to be most vehemently was heartless. He'd fantasised, when it had been safe, about falling in love, raising a family, having someone that accepted him. And even while he was alone, he could still kid himself that somewhere out there was a man that could love Severus and his faults.

But now all that was lost – even if…no, when…even when he and Harry divorced, every time he looked at their child he would be reminded that they were soul mates. Severus couldn't understand how his soul mate could be someone he hated so vehemently, someone who he had spent a long time making the life of difficult. Severus didn’t believe any of the 'Harry is the Boy Who Lived and so very wonderful' horse-shit that the rest of society seemed to believe in, but on the other hand, he couldn’t work out quite what it was that offended him so much about the boy.

Oh, everyone thought it was just a transfer of his hatred of James, but they were wrong. Only an idiot would blame the son for the father's mistakes, and Severus was not an idiot. Deep down, he suspected that it was because Harry was so… _able_. He could wear his heart on his sleeve, act on impulse, fight for what he believed in, love unconditionally, and Severus could do none of that. He chuckled dryly as he poured himself a large whiskey. Harry Potter was a man that anyone would be proud to call their own, he was a man that loved as strongly as he lived. He was a man that would fight to the death for those he cared about, and he was married to Severus. But Harry would do none of those things for Severus, and the child he carried could honestly be claimed to be the product of a night of madness. Every time he looked at the child, Harry would be reminded of what Severus did, and Severus found that notion did not sit easy with him…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Hi Harry, how long have you been here?"

"Harry? Darlin', I'm Rook and I just woke up here. I guess that makes me Sleeping Beauty and you the gorgeous prince." 

Draco froze as Harry smirked at him and sashayed across the living room. "OK, you're Rook. Well, hi Rook, I'm Draco." 

"Hello Draco. Is the rest of you as beautiful as your face?"

"Rook, I really think…"

Draco didn’t get the rest of the sentence out before he was rather gracefully pounced on by Harry, and found soft lips attacking his own. An insistent erection bumped against his thigh as milk pooled around his feet from the dropped shopping bags. He grabbed Harry's shoulders and pushed hard, but this didn’t have the desired effect.

"Oh, you like it rough, stud? Well I can do rough."

Draco wasn't proud of himself; he shrieked like a girl as he was shoved back onto the sofa and Harry landed on him. As Draco wrenched his head to the side, he saw Charlie standing in the doorway gaping at them and swore loudly. "Fucks sakes Charlie, don’t just stand there; help!"

Coming to his senses, Charlie crossed to the sofa and picked Harry up easily – the brunette was slight and Charlie was a Dragon handler after all.

"What the hell…well hello sweet thing, are we making this a threesome?"

"No. That is my husband you just groped."

"Mmm, pretty thing too. Now you, you’re much more of a muscle man. I bet you've got some real big muscles in those jeans, fancy sharing?"

"Tell you what; we'll all share, if you can win at poker."

"Strip poker?"

"If you like. Let's go kiddo."

"It's Rook, sweet thing, and I'm going to own your cock before you can say royal flush."

Charlie gestured to the table and felt as Draco grabbed his arm and hissed in his ear, "Is this wise?"

"Gotta stall him until he's back to Harry. Besides, Rook doesn’t know he can do magic, right? There's no way he can win."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry looked down at the cards, and then at his own naked torso. Looking up, he saw Charlie and Draco sitting opposite him and his eyebrows shot through his hairline. "What the hell?!"

"We've been playing poker with Rook."

Harry heard the edge in Charlie's voice and a blush crept up his cheeks. "Oh gods, what did I do?"

"You did nothing. Rook, however, jumped Draco, made a lot of inappropriate remarks, and generally tried to get me and Draco to bang him. You. Whatever."

Harry's cards had fallen from his fingers, and he closed his eyes as he tried to regulate his breathing. "How…how long?"

"Bout an hour. Do you remember losing it?"

"I…uh…I came to see you guys, but you were…out and I…I just sat down on the sofa to wait…and then uh…I…was here."

"And you remember nothing at all?"

Harry bristled at the edge in Charlie's voice and fixed the redhead with a glare. "You're right. I remember everything; I was just pretending to be Rook so that I had an excuse to jump your husband. Aren't I a laugh?"

Charlie sighed and ran a hand through his hair before answering in an even voice. "Sorry, I was just jealous. Make sure to tell your Healer about this. Has something happened at home to drive you here?"

"Nope. For saying we share a house we don’t see that much of each other. Ron came over last night and we started planning out ways to make Snape's life hell…" Harry shot a look at Draco, effectively silencing his objection "…And I know he's your godfather, but he's my husband, and I reserve the right to hex him and make his life difficult."

"Whatever. Just…Harry that kind of stress isn’t good for you or the baby. Would it not be better to see if you can get on with Sev?"

"You think we'd be able to get on?"

"You had sex…"

"No, we didn't. That is precisely why I want nothing to do with him. He sneers out that _we had sex_ well; I didn't! Him and Rook had sex, I wasn't involved in it. Look, I should get back."

Charlie rolled his eyes and elbowed Draco hard. "Harry, stay and have something to eat with us, I'll keep my idiot husband and his stupid big mouth in check. No one expects you to be nice to Snape, but it will probably be easier than hating him. If tormenting him doesn't work, will you at least think about trying to find common ground?"

Harry rolled his eyes. Charlie had inherited his mother's talent for making Harry feel like a little boy and he couldn't refuse the redhead, especially not considering he'd recently tried to jump his husband. "Fine. Who knows; maybe Rook will win out and Snape will get the ride of his life the next eight months." 

 

 

 

 

**A/N – OK, so with the upgrade of the site there may not be an update until Monday. I'm quite excited about the new site…! Kisses, *S*S* x**


	9. Severus And Kyle Collide

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

**A/N3 – So, with all the site trouble, everything added since Sunday was lost. That means this is a re-post of Sunday's chapter. Feel free to review it again, or just move on to the next chapter. Either way, to everyone who reviewed on Sunday, thank you very much!**

 

_"Yeah. Rook took over and I…I kinda jumped my friend."_

_"Aaah."_

_"Yeah. His husband wasn’t best impressed either. Afterwards…when I was back to me, and I came downstairs, the tension…it was bad."_

_"It's hard to see someone you love entwined with someone else, even if you know it is nothing."_

_"I can't stand hurting them. But I couldn't fight. And I feel it more now. I feel Rook reacting to guys in the street and I have to fight to control myself. I think…I think Rook is getting stronger. I think Rook knows and he's starting to fight for more control."_

_"Rook can only take the control you give him."_

_"How do I keep control from him?"_

_"You address the issues?"_

_"Issues? Fine, I had a crap, fucked up childhood. I'm married to a man that hates me. I'm having his child. Any more issues? I've addressed them and I'm still a lunatic, so excuse me for not knowing how to stop bloody Rook gaining bloody control! I feel so useless!"_

_"You aren't useless."_

_"No, I'm just mental. I feel like I'm drowning. I can't do this; I just don't have it in me anymore."_

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus slipped quietly into Grimmauld Place and listened intently for a few minutes. He couldn't hear Harry anywhere, which was a good thing and he repeated that mantra even as his scowl deepened. Honestly, what did he care if the impertinent little brat was here or not? _'You care Severus, because he had a therapy session two days ago and you haven't seen him since and you are worried about him!'_

"I am not worried about him."

Severus caught sight of himself in the mirror and grimaced. Perhaps Harry's illness was catching, because Severus was certain he was going mad. Picking up his bags, Severus headed down to the Potions lab in the basement. He'd been surprised that Harry had a potions lab in Grimmauld Place and even more surprised when Harry had said he could use it, though he was to pay for any ingredients or damages. Severus was so intent on setting to work that he wouldn't have noticed the cauldron bubbling away if it hadn't been for the purple smoke rising in coils. Leaning over the cauldron, he inhaled deeply and smelled jasmine and eucalyptus. As Severus prepared to investigate the potion, he heard a sniffle from the other side of the room and spun round, his robes billowing around him.

"Who are you?"

Severus looked at Harry, huddled in the corner with tear tracks down his cheeks and his knees pulled tightly to his chest, and his mouth fished up and down for a few minutes. "I…uh…who are you?"

"Kyle."

Severus was shocked, and he leaned on the bench for support. He'd been a fool to think that Harry's alters would stop at one and he was apparently meeting a new one. His mind came up with a long list of ways to traumatise the boy, but when he stepped forward, Harry moaned and shrank even further into himself so Severus fell still. He couldn't, in good faith, do anything malicious when the boy was obviously so scared. Breathing deeply, Severus let his instincts guide him as he moved slowly and carefully to sit next to Harry.

"Don't…please don't…"

"I won't hurt you. My name is Severus and I live here. Can you tell me how you got here?"

"I don’t know. I just…suddenly was making a potion and I don’t know what it was or where I am and I didn’t mean to break in."

"That's alright, you haven't broken in. But the potion has gone wrong and I need to know if any of it came into contact with you?"

Kyle didn't know why, but the older man's voice soothed his frayed nerves and he rolled his sleeve up carefully, showing the little burns where splashes of the potion had hit him. The older man took his arm carefully and took out a stick, muttering words Kyle didn’t understand and then the burns were gone. "How…how did you do that?"

"I am a wizard, this is my wand. How long have you been here?"

"I don't know. I'm so scared."

Severus nodded, and realised he was still holding Harry's arm. The tan skin was so soft under his calloused fingers and he found that he didn’t really want to let go. But he could see panic mounting in Harry's eyes, so he let the boy take his arm back and wrap it around his torso. "Are you alright?"

"No…I can't…I can't do it."

"Do what?"

"What they're asking me to do! I can't…I'm not strong enough! I don't know how to!"

Severus saw the mounting panic and reached forward, stroking Harry's cheek gently and speaking in an uncharacteristically kind voice. "I know you can't. It's OK, they can't get to you here, I'll protect you. Just calm down and everything will be OK."

Tears welled up in impossibly green eyes, and Severus saw Harry wavering, before pushing to bury his face in Severus' neck. For saying they'd had sex, Severus was unprepared for the sensation of Harry's lithe body being pressed against his side and it took him a few moments to react. But once he'd regained himself, he wrapped one arm around Harry's waist and used the other to stroke Harry's hair softly as the brunette cried into his shoulder. "Hush, little one, it'll be OK."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry had a headache and his back was killing him. He breathed in deeply before opening his eyes and smelled something musky and not altogether unpleasant. Opening his eyes, he found himself looking down at a black-clad chest, and that was when the sensation of strong arms around his waist filtered through his mind. It was divine, and for a moment Harry basked in the sensations of being held so tightly, but then he realised who was holding him and wrenched away, standing up and glaring down at a startled Severus Snape. 

"Harry…"

"What the fuck are you doing? What did you do to me?"

"Nothing. Harry I…"

"Don't you dare! Goddammit, can't you just leave me alone?!"

Severus felt the strange calm that had rested over him while he'd had Harry in his arms break, and he stood up with his usual sneer in place. "Believe me, when your little episode turned you into a snivelling wreck of self-loathing, fucking you was the last thing on my mind! I was simply making sure you didn't kill yourself, considering your alter tried to make a potion with no magical knowledge and managed to get burns up and down your arm! But hell, if it upsets you that much then next time I'll just throw you out to the wolves, you self-centred impertinent little bastard!"

Severus didn't wait for a response, just turned on his heel and stormed up to his quarters. He had a little sub-apartment on the third floor, with a bedroom, bathroom and living room. Growling angrily, he found he was too worked up to do anything other than pace up and down and curse the Potter brat for all he was worth. Only when every obscenity known to man had been tallied against the brunette did Severus collapse into a chair and cradle his head in his hands, trying not to think about the relaxed sensations he'd been enjoying while the boy had slept. For all he cared, the boy could drown himself in a cauldron and Severus would cheer at his grave.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry took a deep breath and knocked tentatively on the door to Severus' rooms. He heard Severus grunt and took this as permission to enter. Walking in slowly, he kept his eyes averted as he spoke softly. "I brought you coffee."

"Put it on the table."

Harry levitated the mug over to the table next to Severus' chair and wrapped both hands around his own, staring into the murky depths as he steeled his nerves. "I…the last thing I remember is putting lavender in the cauldron, then waking up with…waking up with you. I panicked, and I'm…sor~…I'm sorry for the things I said to you."

Severus heard the strain of apologising in Harry's voice and he wanted to intensify that strain, to hurt the brunette as much as his words that afternoon had unfathomably hurt Severus. But he didn’t; Severus would worry about _why_ he didn't later; all that was important right now was that he made the effort. "Should you be drinking coffee?"

"I made decaf."

"Smart move. I didn't mean to scare you this afternoon, and I probably said more that should be apologised for than you did. Sit down, Pot~…Harry…we should talk."

Harry moved and sat in the comfy chair opposite Severus, letting the silence draw out until he was sure that he could meet Severus' eyes without giving away his turmoil. "You…ah…said that I was…the way you described me was…"

"Was wrong, and I apologise. The person you were this afternoon was not you, and it was not Rook. They identified themselves as Kyle. Have you ever…?"

"I don't think so. No one's ever mentioned it to me. What was I…Kyle…like?"

"Very scared, and unsure of himself. I've been thinking about this."

"And?"

"And I have only theories."

"Theories are good right now."

"I think that Kyle is the embodiment of your uncertainty and self-loathing, just as Rook is the embodiment of your sexuality. As part of a whole person, each of those traits are needed in moderation, but your condition means that those traits have broken off and formed shallow, one-dimensional personas. They have no other traits to balance them out, which is why they are so extreme. When I entered the dungeon Kyle was huddled in a corner, burned by the potion he'd been trying to make. I healed the burns and discovered Kyle is unaware of magic. He was panicked, and told me that he wasn't strong enough to do what they wanted. I know what you think of me, but I couldn’t walk away. I acted in a way that seemed most likely to help Kyle and when he fell asleep I stayed in case you woke up as someone other than yourself."

Harry nodded and sipped his coffee slowly as he processed this new information. It was something he'd thought to himself; that he couldn't do what they wanted, and he knew well the feelings that went with that statement. To think that a persona was created on just those feelings was scary and it impressed on Harry how far he still had to go. "Thank you. It would have been easier for you to just walk away."

"Don't be so sure of that."

Harry looked up, and for a brief moment he met obsidian eyes, and something moved between the two of them that scared and aroused him in equal measures. As soon as it had happened, it was gone again, and Harry returned to staring at his coffee cup. "I understand if you say no, but would you come with me next week and explain this persona to Healer Radcliffe?"

"Yes. Can I ask what potion you were trying to make?"

"My potion. It's better if you can make it yourself, apparently."

"Perhaps, if you give me the recipe, I can make it for you."

"I don't want to put you out; I can get it from the Healers."

"And lose the extra benefit? Perhaps, as your soul mate, I am better suited to making this potion than a faceless apprentice-Healer? Of course, if you fear I would tamper with it, I will understand."

Harry looked at Severus through his fringe and smiled softly. "Of course I don't. That's very helpful, thank you."

Severus nodded and the silence resumed, but there was something uncomfortable there; neither man could forget the meeting of eyes that had somehow been not enough and more than they could handle all at the same time. Harry stood up and headed to the door, stopping as his hand rested on the handle and turning back to face Severus. "I'm making pasta for about seven, if you like?"

Severus didn't trust himself not to make a stupid response, so just nodded at Harry and watched as the boy clicked the door shut behind him. Perhaps…just perhaps…they could form some kind of functioning relationship.


	10. Making Cupcakes

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

 

_"So, you think that it was a turning point?"_

_"I guess. Maybe I was hasty, I was just so angry that he could take advantage of me like that, but then the way he behaved with Kyle was totally different. It made me wonder if maybe…well, if Rook was asking for it…it takes two people. You spoke to him last week, and I know he wasn't lying when he told us how he'd acted with Kyle."_

_"He wasn't, no. Have you spent much time with him since Kyle surfaced?"_

_"More than before, yeah. He…uh…there's more to him than I let myself believe. He's…I don't know. I can't explain it, but there have been times these past two weeks when I've looked at him and thought that maybe him being the father of my child isn’t a bad thing. He's…he's been patient with me…it's like he making an effort to try and get to know me."_

_"And how does that make you feel?"_

_"Nice. Whatever else I think of him, I respect him for the things he did during the wars. And once or twice, he's spoken to me like I'm his equal. I don't know, I can't explain any better than that right now."_

_"You've explained fine, Harry."_

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus stood glaring at the kettle as he waited for it to boil. Harry had been up and down during the night being sick, and Severus had just lain in bed scowling at the ceiling, because he was afraid of _over-stepping the mark_. It was pitiful. These past four weeks since Kyle had surfaced; Severus had been spending more time with Harry. He'd had two more run-ins with Kyle, but strangely Rook hadn't re-surfaced yet. This worried Severus; the pushy little slut should have made himself known by now, and the longer he stayed silent the more Severus worried that Rook had discovered that he wasn't alone and was planning a coup. 

Dragging his mind back to the kettle, Severus took it off the stove as it began to whistle and set about making two cups of tea. Unsure of whether Harry took sugar, Severus put the sugar bowl on the tray along with the two cups of tea. Looking down, he realised that, having spent the night throwing up, Harry could use some food. Severus set the tray on the side and prepared a couple of slices of toast. He found the butter and the strawberry jam and put them on the tray as well, along with the bottle of hot sauce that Harry seemed to have become fond of. The toast done, he placed it on a plate, put the plate on the tray, found some knives and headed upstairs.

Harry was just trying to work out whether he wanted to die or be sick again when there was a soft knock on his bedroom door. "Yeah?"

The door opened and Harry's mouth fell open in shock as Severus walked into his room carrying a breakfast tray. The older man crossed to his bed as Harry sat up, and sat down gingerly on the edge putting the tray between them. "What's all this?"

"I made you some tea, and realised that you should eat something as well."

"I can't face food."

"I know, but you need to eat something. Just one slice?"

Harry looked up and met Severus' eyes; that weird heated-sparky-thing passing between them again and making a blush creep up Harry's cheeks. He took a slice of toast and nibbled the edge gingerly, finding that dry toast didn't make him heave as expected.

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Some. I might just take a sleeping bag into the bathroom and be done with it."

Severus smiled at his joke and shifted on the bed, leading Harry to assume he'd be leaving shortly. That thought upset him though he didn't know why, but Harry was pleasantly surprised when he spoke in a low, silky voice that was only ever used when they were alone and getting on relatively well. 

"I wasn't sure whether you'd want me to get up or…?"

"Get up for what?"

"To keep you company. I didn't want to…ah…overstep a boundary."

Harry had just been taking a sip of tea and choked in shock, spurting tea all down the front of his grey t-shirt. Severus raised an eyebrow at him, and Harry felt the blush coming back full-force as he stared at his bedcovers. "No…I mean…if you wanted to…I don't…it wouldn't be overstepping a boundary."

Harry didn't dare look up, and he screwed his eyes shut as he felt the bed shift when Severus got up.

"Then you shouldn’t have to suffer alone. I'll run you a bath, eat some more toast."

Severus was out of the door before he could see Harry's head snap up, a look of pure surprise on his pretty features…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Mr Potter, are you trying to kill us all?"

Harry rolled his eyes and flipped a finger at Severus over his shoulder. "Shut up, I wanted cupcakes."

Severus smiled and stepped up to watch as Harry added hot sauce to the cupcake mix. "With your talent for potion-making, I hope you don’t expect me to eat any of that."

"Nope. I'm going to make them and then eat the lot while they're still warm."

"You are aware that eating for two is an old wives tale, not a target?"

"Don't be such a spoil-sport. I got a trashy movie and I'm going to eat cupcakes while I watch it."

Severus saw the dismissal and stepped away, planning on spending the afternoon getting Harry's potion just right before he ran out of the current batch, when Harry's voice stopped him in the doorway.

"I…uh…got some popcorn, if you want to watch too?"

Severus felt a smile curving his lips and didn’t turn around as he answered. "That depends on the movie?"

"I got _The Ring_ , the original version not the remake."

"I'll be in the lab, yell to me when you're ready to start."

Harry listened to the opening and closing of doors that mapped Severus' journey to the potions lab as he stirred the mixture, a stupid, goofy smile on his face. It was just the thought of having some company while he watched a scary movie…that was all. He was definitely not smiling because it meant he got to spend more time with Severus. Definitely not.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus sniggered as Harry jumped again and got a rough elbow in his ribs for the trouble. Harry had been jumping through most of the movie and half the cupcakes lay forgotten on the coffee table as the two men sat on the comfy couch in front of the widescreen. Severus wasn't paying attention to the movie, he was just soaking up the atmosphere, and he was almost surprised when Harry moved into his side, burying his face in Severus' shoulder as something crawled out of a well. Severus was startled, especially when Harry didn't pull away, but there was something about the set-up that felt so…right. Taking his chances, Severus extended his arm to wrap loosely around Harry's waist, long fingers resting on the belt that held his jeans up.

Harry felt Severus put an arm around him and tensed. He began to prepare to yell himself quiet at the older man and then something in his brain kicked up. As there was no one here to see them and Severus wouldn't kiss and tell, there was no reason for Harry not to enjoy the pleasurable sensation of being held by the father of his child. Studiously looking at the screen (it wasn't a scary bit right now), he curled closer to Severus and let his head rest fully on the other man's shoulder.

They'd been sitting together all through the movie and the end credits and as the blue screen flicked up, Harry chewed his lip nervously. "I suppose you have things to…to do, right?"

"Probably. Unless you have another movie you'd like company to watch?"

Harry felt something inside him, some vital organ, do something that was definitely not natural as it tried to play pin-ball in his ribcage. "I have…uhm… _The Ring 2_ …if you like?"

Severus nodded and disentangled himself from Harry, stretching as he crossed to the player and the stack of DVDs. He found the right one and inserted it into the player, hitting play as he turned to resume his place. Harry had scooted back to his side of the sofa and Severus smiled at the brunette who was refusing to look at him. He took his seat again and made himself comfortable, staring straight ahead as he spoke. "Are you comfortable there?"

Severus saw the rampant blush on his young companion as the other man wordlessly moved back into place, head rested on Severus' shoulder. Wrapping his arm a little tighter around the brunette's waist, Severus felt a smile curving his lips as the opening credits began. He was so lost in the complete _rightness_ of the situation, he almost didn't hear Harry's whispered words drifting up between them.

"Thank you."

Smiling and hooking his fingers through the belt loops on Harry's jeans, Severus leaned his head to nuzzle Harry's hair softly. "You're welcome."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

When the movie ended, Severus looked up at the clock. It was almost seven, and Harry's breathing was steady and even. A quick look down confirmed that Harry was asleep, so Severus disentangled himself carefully, laying the brunette down on the sofa and draping a blanket over him reverently. He stroked Harry's hair for a moment as he fought with his heart, but his heart won. Leaning down, Severus pressed a gentle kiss to Harry's temple. "Sleep well, little one."

He headed out of the TV room to put some dinner on, completely missing Harry's eyes fluttering open and his fingers reaching up to stroke the place Severus' lips had caressed his skin. A soft smile curved the Saviour's lips and he curled his arms tighter around his abdomen. _'This is my baby. My baby with Severus. Severus is my soul mate. Maybe…just maybe…I don't know him like I thought I did. If this is who he truly is, then I could fall in love with him in a heartbeat. I don't want to spend my life regretting a choice made out of spite…'_


	11. Distractions And Truths

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the crazy-cool cat Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

_"You seem distracted today, Harry?"_

_"Sorry, lots on my mind."_

_"Anything I can help with?"_

_Harry curled tighter into himself on the comfy settee and shot a short grin at Healer Radcliffe. "No, nothing bad. Just lots to think about."_

_"Well, just tell me if your alters have appeared since last week and then we can call it a day."_

_"Kyle's appeared a few times, but still no Rook. Severus thinks we should be worried, but I'm not."_

_Healer Radcliffe smiled and waited as Harry collected his things and finalised next week's appointment before leaving. Looking down at his notes, he underlined the most important observation he'd made that hour._

_ 'Snape' has become 'Severus'; possible acceptance/Romantic future? _

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry smiled as he tumbled into the kitchen to find Severus making dinner. "Anything for me there?"

"After you up and left without a word to me? No."

The harsh tone wiped the smile of Harry's face and he stopped dead, reluctant to put himself in Severus' reach. "I only went to the video shop. I thought you might like to watch a movie tonight or something…?"

Severus took a deep breath and turned back to the pan of vegetables. There was no reason for Harry to account for his whereabouts to Severus and he gritted his teeth before responding. "My apologies, of course you're free to do what you will."

Harry saw the tensing of Severus' muscles and mentally cursed himself for upsetting the older man. The whole point of this movie had been to allow Harry to spend another night in Severus' arms, no questions asked, not push the older man away from him. He hung his head and stared at his knuckles as he spoke. "I didn't think. I'll leave you a note or tell you next time. I just wanted to sp~…it doesn't matter."

Severus felt his heart warm up a little at Harry's unintentional slip and took some cutlery out of the drawer, holding it out to Harry. "We'll eat and then watch your scary movie."

Hope bloomed in Harry's eyes as he took the cutlery, and for the few seconds that his and Severus' gazes stayed locked everything in Harry's body felt alive, and he blushed as he looked away and set out the cutlery. "You don't know it's a horror."

"I do. You have an unhealthy obsession with them."

"You enjoy them! I heard your sharp intake of breath when Drew Barrymore went outside in _Scream_!"

"That was more to do with the placement of your elbow than the shenanigans of a bunch of delinquent sex-obsessed American teens."

Harry looked up and caught Severus' eyes, trying to keep his face innocent as he, "Well, feel free to reposition my limbs to suit your needs."

Severus was famed for his concentration and that was the only thing that kept him serving up broccoli and not choking in shock. This was definitely Harry he was talking to and he was being flirted with. How…pleasant! Though they didn’t talk, dinner was calm and relaxed. Neither man saw the need for small talk and as Severus cleared away the plates Harry went to load up the DVD. They'd only been watching a few minutes when Harry moved into Severus' arms and made himself comfortable on the other man's shoulder. Severus' arms moved of their own accord to wrap around Harry, no longer any pretence of a light embrace, but one arm tightly around his hips as the other lay on their laps, Severus' long fingers occasionally reaching up to caress Harry's stomach. It was this tight embrace that allowed Severus to feel the shivers, and he leant his head away from its position cheek-to-hair with Harry. "Cold?"

"A little."

Severus summoned a blanket and threw it over them, feeling as Harry shuffled a little closer to him and returning his hand to their laps. As Freddie launched a new terror on some unsuspecting dreamer, Severus felt warm fingers slide into place with his own, lacing them together. Severus closed his eyes, imagining the tan and pale fingers intertwined, beautifully offsetting each other. As out of character as it was, he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Harry's head before returning his attention to the screen, smiling as the grasp on his fingers tightened.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus had flicked the DVD player off ages ago, but neither man had moved. Harry was afraid to break the spell between them, for as soon as he spoke there would be questions to be asked and answered, but his famous Gryffindor courage was nagging at him to do _something_. However, Harry hadn't counted on Severus' own, deeply hidden and loathed, Gryffindor streak.

"It's only ten, we could watch another?"

Harry started, and began disentangling himself as he responded, "I don't want to keep you up, I might go to bed."

"Are you tired?"

"Well…no…but I might read…or something."

Severus nodded, and when the older man made no move to stop him, Harry had no choice but to follow through on his words and head upstairs. He changed into white cotton pyjama bottoms and a grey t-shirt and climbed into bed. No book could interest him or position bring him comfort, so barely twenty minutes later Harry stood up and headed back downstairs. Severus was sprawled out on the sofa, one leg up against the back and one rested on the floor, putting his thighs at right-angles to each other. He looked up as Harry entered and Harry's eyes flicked to the screen.

" _She's All That_?!"

"I am slowly discovering the error of my choice." 

"Rom-coms are better when you aren't alone."

Harry couldn't quite believe he'd said that and he felt a blush reach up his cheeks.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"No. Can…would you mind if I…stay with you?"

Severus felt something inside him flutter, and he beckoned Harry over. The younger man settled between his legs, lying up against his chest and tucking his head carefully under Severus' chin, one arm reaching to wrap behind Severus' waist and the other splaying on his chest in front of Harry's face. Severus shifted slightly and pulled the blanket over them again. Neither of them watched the movie properly, and while Freddie Prinze Jr was being yelled at by some girl, Harry tilted his head up to look at Severus. 

Emerald eyes met obsidian and something fundamental passed between the two of them. Leaning up slightly, Harry waited, letting Severus move lower to bring the gap to a tiny space. He could feel the older man's breath on his lips, caressing them, and it was too much and not enough. Without thinking, Harry closed the gap, pressing against soft, thin lips and kissing so gently their skin barely met. He kept this up until he heard a low growl rumbling between their chests. He didn’t know which one of them it came from, but he knew what that growl was demanding, and without hesitation he parted his lips under Severus' tongue, whimpering as spicy cinnamon exploded in the wake of a warm, moist tongue that wasted no time in mapping out the caverns of his mouth. He engaged the gentle tongue in a dance with his own and felt warm hands clasp his hips, thumbs rubbing firm circles on the skin of his hips, exposed as his t-shirt rode up in Harry's quest to get closer to Severus' mouth.

Severus groaned as teeth nipped at his lips and felt himself beginning to harden. Another, more predatory growl escaped his lips without consent, and the spell was broken. Harry pulled away, looking startled at what had just happened. Severus opened his mouth to try and coax the boy back to his lips, _back to his home_ , but Harry beat him to it.

"I…bed."

Without thinking about it, Harry got up and walked calmly out of the room, breaking into a run when he hit the stairs and throwing himself on his bed, lost in fear and regret and lust and the inherent rightness of what had just happened…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus woke up and was immediately aware of the throbbing erection trapped between the sheets. He'd been dreaming about Harry. It had started off a dream about Rook, about pinning him to the wall of a toilet cubicle and fucking him, but somehow Rook had morphed into Harry, and he'd been straddling Severus’ waist rubbing their erections together as the two men kissed. 

Growling, Severus glanced at the clock and saw it was almost seven. He decided to get up and make Harry some breakfast, his cock jumping at even this simple thought of the brunette. Deciding that waking Harry up with a raging erection probably wasn't the best course of action, Severus headed into the bathroom and turned the water on, stepping under the spray and focusing on his most pressing need…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry hadn't slept well. It wasn't the sickness that bothered him. Oh no, nothing that complex was keeping the Boy Who Lived Again awake. He was being kept awake by the taste of cinnamon. As he looked over at the clock he saw that it was almost eight and knew that he had to get up. He was just about to swing his legs out of the quilt when there was a soft knocking on his door. Knowing that he was about to be faced with Severus and his bags, Harry fell back against the pillows and squeezed his eyes shut. He was just going to pretend he was asleep.

Severus opened the door and smirked at Harry as he crossed to the brunette's bed and placed the breakfast tray on the bedside table. He'd made toast and porridge for the other man, along with a pot of tea and a chocolate muffin. "I know you aren't asleep. It'll get cold."

Harry opened his eyes and looked at the tray, not trusting himself to look at Severus. "What is this?"

"Breakfast."

"I meant…"

"I know what you meant. It can be whatever you feel happiest with it being. Eat, Harry, before it goes cold."

Harry watched Severus stride out of his bedroom and groaned softly. How the hell was he supposed to concentrate on breakfast with a raging hard-on trapped between his thighs?

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

It took until half one for Harry to work up the courage to go downstairs, and he'd already planned out what he was going to say to Severus. He found the older man in the potions lab, and for a moment he just stood in the doorway and watched Severus work. The man moved with grace; he was home in the potions lab and Harry hated to disturb that peace. But disturb it he must, and he cleared his throat to alert Severus to his presence.

"Aah, I wondered when you were getting up."

"Fancied a lie in. Thanks, for breakfast."

"My pleasure. Did you want something else?"

"I…uh…what happened…doesn't have to…I won't try and…"

Severus saw the younger man struggling over his words and rolled his eyes internally. Just because his heart was doing strange things with his ribcage didn't mean he had to tolerate the boy's colossal ability to talk and talk and not say what he really meant. Severus had only a few minutes before the potion would require the next ingredient, so he fixed Harry with a calm glare. "I'm not in the habit of doing things I regret, Mr Potter. I shall be upstairs in ten minutes to make us some lunch, if you could put the kettle on?"

"Oh…OK…"

Severus waited until Harry had turned around before speaking in an altogether softer voice. "The only absolute I can give you is that I will not push for anything you are not willing to give. We need to talk, but it will be on your terms."

Harry wouldn't have known how to respond even if tears hadn't been clouding his vision. He ascended the stairs in a haze and found himself in the kitchen almost without realising it. He put the kettle on and sat at the kitchen table, pondering exactly _why_ Severus' words had made his entire world light up a little brighter…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Sandwiches?"

"It's always you that makes lunch."

Severus smiled slightly and sat down, eating in silence with Harry until they both sat in front of clean plates and empty mugs. 

"I don't know you. I don't…I'm so confused, and I don't really know you as anything other than my snarky potions professor."

"What would you like to know?"

"Something honest. Something that I can believe in."

Severus weighed all of the things he could tell Harry, and finally fixed emerald green eyes with his. "I regret the situation of our coupling, but not the act itself. I felt something that night that I couldn't explain and I feel it every time I meet your eyes. I've never wanted anything as much as I want to be a part of yours and this child's lives."


	12. My Baby, My Body, My Husband, My Call

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

 

_  
"Were you surprised by their reactions?"_

_"Yes. No…not by all of them. But by Draco; he's supposed to be on my side and he…he just flipped out."_

_"Well…it is his godfather."_

_"I know, but he knows me. The way he was talking to me, it was like we were back at school and rivals again. I know I haven't been particularly mature about all this, but he was talking like I was deliberately acting to hurt Severus!"_

_"Harry…sometimes people can't vocalise properly what they mean. In expressing his sentiments towards his godfather, Draco may have over-looked the way those sentiments would portray you. But Draco was the person you went to with this and he has stood by you since your diagnosis almost three months ago."_

_"I know. I just don't need to hear that, not from him. For saying we spent a great portion of our teenage years hating each other, I depend on him like I do Hermione and Ron."_

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry woke up from the most delicious dream, images of Severus on top of him, inside of him, coursed through his mind as he frotted against the sheet, feeling the solid erection his dream had stirred twitch against the sheets. It wasn't enough and Harry scrambled across the bed, grabbing the pot of Vaseline that Hermione had sworn would help with stretch marks. Not caring, not having the time to really think through what he was doing, Harry acted on the demands of his body and rammed his fingers into the sticky substance, thoroughly coating his fingers before falling back against the bed. 

He was panting hard, still half asleep as he trailed the sticky fingers quickly down his body, the other hand moving to wrap around his cock. He'd never in his life explored his body like this, and it was auto-pilot control that told him what to do, told him to spread the Vaseline around his tight entrance before pushing a finger in slowly. He was so close to the edge, and as soon as his sticky finger breached his entrance, coupled with the merciless tugging on his cock and the dream images of Severus, he erupted with an animalistic howl over the sheets.

As the rush of his orgasm wore off and sleep finally receded from his brain, Harry realised the picture he must paint, and carefully removed his hands from his body, standing on shaky legs and staring at the mess of the bed. With a shrug, he cast a cleaning charm and headed into the shower…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus held the breakfast tray in a death grip and forced himself to regulate his breathing, staying completely still until he heard the shower start running. Knocking once on the door just to be sure Harry wasn't still sprawled out in bed, he entered and set the breakfast tray on the rumpled bed. He was about to leave when he saw the Vaseline with the finger-shaped gouge in it. His eyes rolled back into his head as he realised _exactly_ what Harry had been doing to produce a noise of such unmitigated pleasure. Every cell in his body screamed at him to slide into the shower, align his body with Harry's slick skin and slake the need that had been growing in him since they'd kissed a week and a half ago. But his heart refused; his heart told him that Harry needed time, needed space to deal as he saw fit.

So Severus walked back downstairs and into the lab. He forced himself to reign in his need and focus instead on the potion he was brewing. He refused to believe there wasn't a potion that could be administered to lessen the pain of childbirth in male wizards – evidently you just had to be a little adventurous. Like Harry and his curious fingers…

"Stop this."

Pep-talks weren't Severus' strong point; but his own psyche knew well enough to listen and as his hard-on finally relaxed, he allowed the potion to catch all of his attention…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry bounced down the stairs to the potions lab in a remarkably good mood, having reached a decision. The memory of having Severus inside him had come back to him and that was a very good thing indeed. Admittedly, his subconscious had manipulated it to a more loving setting than a men's room, but the sensation his mind had provided him with had been too vivid to be anything other than real. 

Even a week and a half later, his mind still rang with Severus' words to him, with the brutal honesty that had laced every syllable. They hadn't talked about anything deep too much since then, but every evening they curled up in front of a movie, eating popcorn slathered with butter and hot sauce and sharing gentle kisses as the evening gave birth to the night. Harry hated the sensation of leaving Severus, of the hand on the small of his back as they walked up the stairs guiding him into a brief goodnight kiss before leaving him and going with its owner back to their room. But on the other side, Harry knew that however good he felt right now, he wasn't quite ready to take that hand into his bed. Not yet, but maybe soon.

"Potter, is that dreamy expression a cause for concern?"

"Nope, just in a good mood. I brought you some lunch."

Severus smiled and glanced down at the plate Harry was carrying. There was a large variety of sandwiches; more than enough for two, and Severus smirked up at the younger man. "So, is this a comment on my eating habits or are you staying here with me?"

Harry sniggered and jumped up on the bench as Severus sat down on his chair. He snagged a sandwich and bit into it, savouring the taste of chicken and hot sauce that exploded in his mouth for a moment before answering the older wizard. "I'm staying. Even though you always abandon me at breakfast time."

"You aren’t the most sociable person in the mornings; I like to be far away until you've woken up properly!"

"Oi! That's rich, coming from you! I'm sweetness and light in the mornings!"

Severus smiled and they ate in silence for a while, until a clumping sound above them disturbed the easy peace. Harry rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling, yelling loudly, "Potions lab, Ron!"

There was some muffled cursing, and Severus shot Harry a questioning look. "How did you know?"

"Ron's never been one for graceful footsteps. You don't mind him coming in here do you?"

"It's your house."

Harry briefly wondered at the tone of Severus' voice, but ignored it for the moment as Ron sauntered into the Potions lab.

"Hey Harry, Git-face."

"Ron, don't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Just don't, OK?"

Ron scowled, but his response was lost as he saw the plate of sandwiches. "You two eating lunch?"

"Yes, Ron. Want one?"

"Yes, but Hermione would have my bollocks. I'm only supposed to come and invite you round to ours tonight."

"Sounds good. Any reason or…?"

"Nah, just a get together. I think pretty much everyone will be there. So, sevenish?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

Ron nodded and turned to leave before darting back quickly to snatch a sandwich, Harry's laughter following him out to the floo. He touched back home and found Hermione waiting for him. With a sandwich crammed half in his mouth, Ron just stood facing his disgusted wife, who eventually rolled her eyes and gestured to the kitchen. "Come on, I doubt that will have filled you up. Did you ask them?"

"I asked Harry."

"And Severus?"

"Well, he was there when I asked, so I assume he'll inflict us with his presence."

"Ronald. What were he and Harry doing then?"

"Eating lunch together."

"Civilly?"

"Yeah. Hang on…you don't think…ewww Hermione we have to stop him!"

"We have to do nothing but support our friend Ronald Weasley. Now, unless you want to sleep on the couch tonight, you will give me your word that you will not do anything to offend Harry or Severus tonight!"

"Yes 'mione."

Hermione nodded, then turned away to hide her smirk as Michael giggled and yelled at Ron, "Ha, Mummy told you off!"

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry found Severus scowling at the news and leant on the door-frame watching him for a minute before speaking. "You ready?"

"For what?"

"Ron and Hermione's."

"I believe the invite was levelled at you."

"It was levelled at both of us and even if it wasn't, I want you there. Please, Severus?"

Severus scowled, but stood up and ran a hand through his hair as he stalked over to the floo. "Come on then, you insufferable brat."

Harry smirked and crossed to the fireplace, taking a handful of green iridescent powder and leaning up to kiss Severus' cheek before stepping into the fire and throwing the powder down. "Do this for me and you pick the movies for a week. Ron and Hermione's house!"

Severus watched as Harry swirled out of sight and ran a hand over the faintly warm patch of skin where he'd been kissed. Goddamn it; he wasn't supposed to fall for the boy and yet here he was, spending the evening with dolts just to please a man who was borderline psychotic…

"Love will be the death of me. Ron and Hermione's house."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

The atmosphere had been tense all evening, but Severus would never have thought things would blow up like they did. It had been such a simple trigger; Harry had felt nauseous and forgetting that they had an audience who at last check-in believed they hated each other, Severus had rested an arm around Harry's shoulders and asked if he wanted anything in particular. The complete silence had been broken by Fred swearing loudly and Severus found himself helpless to stop the ensuing destruction…

"Why the fuck are you touching Harry? Without you, he wouldn't be in such a fucking mess."

Hormones are a bitch, especially if you've never been subject to them before, and Harry lost his temper for no good reason. "Don't you dare call my baby a fucking mess!"

"Sorry, but Harry he had his arm around you!"

"So what? He's my husband; he can do what he likes!"

"Since when? Last I checked you wanted him dead!"

"So I've changed my mind! I've decided to give things a try for the sake of my baby."

This much, Severus had expected. But it was Draco joining the fray that really held the flame to the touch-paper and Harry lost it.

"Hang on, _you've_ decided?! This isn't some game you can drop out of when you feel like it; this is a man's feelings! You can't just decide to play happy families on a whim and then be surprised that we're against it!"

"Who the hell asked your opinion Malfoy? I thought you of all people would be happy about this!"

"Happy about you stringing my godfather on? Oh, I'm fucking ecstatic! It isn't just your life that's affected and…"

"No, you're right. Guess I should have checked with Rook and Kyle and fuck knows who else first! Not to mention you! Can't forget your opinion, because we all know how important it is; you've taken great care to remind us of that!"

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?!"

"My apologies, oh great and wonderful pureblood! Goddamn Draco, you're a fucking hypocrite! Stay the hell away from me!"

Before Severus could react, Harry had slammed out of the front door, leaving his shocked friends in his wake. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose tightly, then glared at Draco. "Admirable as your sentiments are, I do not need or want you looking out for me. When have I ever done anything I didn't want to, lest in war? And as to the rest of you; Harry has decided to see if there is more to our relationship than insults. The rest of you can accept that, or not, but the next person to upset him like that again will feel the benefit of my years of training as a Death Eater!"

Severus got to the door before turning back and meeting Hermione's eyes. "Thank you on behalf of myself and Harry for a lovely meal. The only downfall was the company you keep. Good evening."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus apparated back to Grimmauld Place and headed up to Harry's bedroom. He found the room empty and was about to turn and leave when he was grabbed from behind, a firm hand travelling straight to his groin.

"Hello Severus."

"Harry?"

"Try again."

"Rook."

It wasn't a question, it was said with denial, and Severus tried not to react to the wicked things the smaller man was doing with his hand. "What are you doing here?"

"Doing what the idiot won't. I'm going to spread you out on that bed Severus and ride you into oblivion. Do you want that?"

"No, I don’t want you, Rook."

"But you want Harry. And as he and I seem to be sharing a body, you can act on the desire that I know you're feeling."

"You know that you're not alone?"

"Yeah. But don't worry; I'm going to keep the prissy bitch down so I can have my fun."

"Has it never occurred to you that Harry is a well-rounded individual and that you're a whore?"

"Yeah, but remind me again which one of us you slept with? You love me; you just tolerate loser-boy."

"You're right. Let me turn around, I want to kiss you."

Rook released the older man and took a step back. He smirked into obsidian eyes as Severus turned to face him, but he didn't see the gleam of a plan until a piece of wood had been levelled at him.

"I'm sorry, Harry."

Rook went to respond, but then darkness engulfed him…


	13. Fall Out...Boy

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485; round of applause and many cookies to you darlin'!**

**Author's Note – This story is now _FINISHED!_. So I will be posting three chapters a week - Sunday, Wednesday and Friday - until it is all posted. Enjoy, *S*S* xx**

 

_"Harry, it isn't all that bad. Look, at least you're beginning to access memories; this is good. This means your mind is starting to make connections again."_

_"Great! So now I get to see the actual evidence of whoring myself out to nameless men! You don't understand…you don't know what that feels like!"_

_"No, I don't. And I'm not going to insult you by trying to. But Harry, you're doing well. You've been my patient for three months now, and you're progressing much faster than I thought you would. I know you're unsure, but things are going well."_

_"I'm scared."_

_"Of what?"_

_"Of losing him."_

_"Losing who, Harry?"_

_Harry hung his head, feeling tears stream down his face as he voiced the thought that had been plaguing him all week. "I'm scared that Severus will realise how much trouble I am and leave. I think I love him."_

_"Have you spoken to him about this?"_

_"I can't."_

_"I thought the two of you had been getting on better recently?"_

_"Yeah…kisses and movies…not…not this. He deserves better than this. Better than me."_

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry woke up feeling groggy, and felt strong arms wrapped tightly around his body. He lay in a haze for a moment, until his conscious mind caught up with him. He tried to wrench away, but Severus' grip on him tightened. "Still yourself, Harry."

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

Deciding that Harry was definitely Harry, Severus released his grip on the younger man and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, facing emerald eyes that flashed with anger. "Harry please calm down. I didn't want you to wake up alone."

Harry wanted to yell, but he quelled his fight-or-flight urges and forced himself to take a few deep breaths. He looked deep inside himself and then swore softly. "Oh Sev, I'm so sorry."

"Do not be sorry. You remember last night?"

"Yeah…kind of. You…uh…I…Thanks. For stopping me."

"I didn’t want you to do something you'd regret. However, Rook still seems unaware of magic."

Harry nodded, and pulled his knees up to his chest, lying in a foetal position as he tried to regulate his breathing. He felt the bed shift, and then a soft kiss was placed on his temple.

"I'll make you some breakfast, and then I'll be in the lab if you want to talk."

Severus was loathe to leave Harry, but he suspected the Gryffindor needed some time to process what he was feeling and remembering. He headed into the kitchen, and prepared some tea and toast, as well as porridge and a plate of fruit. When he went back into Harry's room the Gryffindor was still curled up on his bed, and Severus set the tray down on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching a hand over to stroke Harry's hair softly. "Come on, you need to eat something."

Severus sucked in a gasp as Harry raised his head slightly, tears streaming down his cheeks. Without making a sound he moved to lie on the bed, pulling Harry back into his arms and letting the brunette cry into his shoulder as he rubbed soothing circles on his back. He had no idea how long Harry cried for, but eventually his sobs faded and he moved out of the embrace.

"Thanks."

"I'll run you a bath."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry had spent most of the day curled up in bed. When he heard Severus climbing the stairs he picked up a book, but the older man didn't comment as he brought snacks and cups of tea up to Harry. The spaces in between were filled with uncertainty and regret, and Harry fought off tears for most of the day. His soup sat cold and forgotten on the bedside table when Severus came and knocked just before seven. Harry murmured, and tried to smile as Severus entered his bedroom casting a glance at the soup and frowning slightly. "You haven't eaten today."

"Not hungry. Did you want me for something?"

"Yes. I'm going to watch _Mean Girls_ , I suspect I may need company. And before you respond, you should consider the fact I have made not only popcorn but hot-sauce fairy cakes."

Even though his tone was as neutral as always, Harry felt the affection in Severus' words, and smiled softly. He hauled himself out of bed and followed Severus downstairs, settling on the sofa as Severus loaded the DVD and brought in some food. Harry sat quietly, munching on the fairy cakes until something occurred to him and he blurted it out without really thinking about what he was asking. "How come you stunned me last night?"

Severus tensed, and Harry turned to face the older man, who was still staring at the screen even as his eyes glazed over. "What else should I have done?"

"I don't know, I was just asking."

"It seemed the best thing to do. I didn't want Rook running off somewhere I couldn't find him."

"You didn't have to stun me though!"

Severus turned and fixed Harry in a cold glare, the hurt in his chest twisting out his reasoning that Harry needed gentleness right now. "No, I could have given in to Rook and fucked you, but we both know how that scenario ends!"

For a moment that stretched to an eternity they sat looking at each other, and then Severus stood up and swept out of the room, heading to his own rooms and locking himself in. _'Goddamn it I hate that boy! Who the hell does he think he is to put me on the spot over my actions! What the hell was I to do, just give in to his demands and then lose everything I've worked so hard for over the past month? Why can't I just walk away, why can't I just be a father without having to be this…this thing with Harry.'_

Severus fell into bed and stared up at the ceiling in silence, his body aching with the emotional pain of what had been said between them. "Why do I have to love him like this?" 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

It hadn't really been a fight, Harry mused as he stirred the pasta slowly. Fights were loud and shouty, and the exchange of words between them hadn’t been that. And yet Harry felt bad, like he'd had a fight. He hadn't spoken to any of his friends since the argument at Hermione's two days ago, and he hadn't even seen Severus since they exchanged words last night. He missed breakfast in bed, missed the easy conversation that spawned between them. He missed Severus' presence in his life, and that revealed more to Harry than he was comfortable facing right now. But right now was currently being directed by some sadistic higher power, and Harry looked up as Severus entered the kitchen. "I'm making pasta."

"I've eaten."

"Sev…last night I didn't mean…"

"What did you mean then?"

"I don't know."

"Well think! Think about the consequences of your words before you say them! You expect every move I make to be measured and weighed, but you do not show me the same consideration!"

Harry was stunned by the venom in Severus' words, and he forgot about the pasta as he watched Severus' stilted movements around the kitchen as he poured a drink. "Severus please…"

"Just don't, Harry. You have enough to think about without weighing my feelings into it, so it would be best if we just didn’t speak right now."

Harry watched hopelessly as Severus walked out of the kitchen, with the distinct feeling that Severus was walking away from Harry himself. Unable to hold himself together any longer, Harry sank to the floor and buried his head in his hands.

This was how Draco found him later that evening, and the blonde moved to sit next to Harry on the floor, wrapping an arm around him silently and holding on through the tears. When Harry finally seemed able to hold a decent conversation, Draco pulled back and grinned at him. "I came to apologise, but I see we've moved on to a new drama."

"You were right."

"I'm always right, have you not been listening to me?"

Harry chuckled, and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, smiling slightly at the blonde. "I'm so sorry about what I said."

"Don't be, I value you more than anyone else outside of my marriage, because you've always been honest and straight-up with me; I know you'll cut through all my bullshit with a single look. I was worried about Sev, but I didn't mean that to reflect badly on you. I didn't think about how that would sound to you until Charlie pointed it out to me and then thrust a sex ban on me. It's over, well the sex ban isn't, but you and me arguing is. Now tell me what's up."

Harry repeated the story and was grateful that Draco let him speak without questioning him. Once he'd said everything, Draco sighed and reached out a hand to stroke Harry's cheek gently. "Let Severus come to you when he's sorted himself out. I don't think he was being malicious."

"He can't stand to be near me!"

"Harry you are thick as two short planks, you know that? Severus can't stand _not_ being near you. You're beginning to feel the pull to him that makes the two of you soul mates, right? Well, he's feeling that too and he's fighting it because he doesn’t want to make this any more difficult for you than it already is. Harry he's letting you set the pace, but you need to realise that he can't just let you alternate the pace on a whim. Severus isn't the most articulate of people. He can use words as weapons, but vocalising what he feels? His entire life has been a study in denying that. Just give him some time, OK?"

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus found Harry curled up in front of a mindless muggle soap the next afternoon, and sat carefully on the sofa, watching the women fight over an attractive man for a few minutes before speaking. "I apologise, for what I said to you."

"It's OK."

"No, it isn't. I…Harry I…you don't need this additional stress."

Harry saw Severus gearing up to say something that would put the halters on their relationship, and he scooted over on the sofa, moving into a surprised Severus' arms and kissing him firmly on the lips. Harry waited just long enough to feel Severus kiss him back, and pulled back to settle against Severus' chest, winding his arms around the man's body and fixing his eyes on the screen. "We had a fight, that's what couples do. I was just…stupidly offended that stunning me was a more attractive option than sleeping with me. But you did the right thing, just because I know that doesn’t mean I have to like it."

"Harry…"

"Shush, I want to see who Miguel chooses; Sofia's his wife but Luciana is carrying his baby. And you owe me two movies."

Severus could have argued, could have pushed the debate, but in that moment sat with Harry wrapped up in his arms, he couldn’t have cared less. Tightening his grip, he fixed his attention on the soap and pressed a gentle kiss to Harry's messy hair. The soap ended on a cliff-hanger, and for a moment Severus thought Harry was asleep, but apparently he was just shocked.

"I can't believe he went with Magdalena! She's a whore!"

"Harry, you realise you're getting worked up about a soap? A very bad cable TV soap at that?"

Harry flushed, and struggled up to fix Severus in a glare. "You have no idea what you're talking about! _'My Restless, Bleeding, Dying Heart'_ is a pinnacle of TV-making!"

Severus laughed, and stretched the kinks out of his back slowly. "Evidently you need to follow the storyline."

"Well, I could explain it to you, if you liked?"

"I thought you wanted to watch a movie?"

"If we went to the cinema I could explain on the walk?"

Severus saw the blush creeping up Harry's cheeks, and smiled softly, tipping the brunette's head up and placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I'll go get my jacket."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

The movie had been surprisingly good, and Severus had enjoyed it, though nowhere near as much as he'd enjoyed having Harry holding his hand through the movie. They were walking slowly through the streets sharing a portion of fish and chips, and Severus realised that they looked for all the world like a couple in love. He smiled gently at this thought, and felt Harry nudge him with his shoulder.

"What's made you smile?"

"I've had a nice evening."

"Me too. We should do this again."

Severus nodded, and sucked salt and vinegar off his finger as they turned the corner. Harry had balled up the paper and tossed it in the nearest bin before reaching out to take Severus' hand in his. They didn't speak again until they were back inside number twelve, and Severus leaned down to give Harry a soft kiss. He fully intended to say his goodnight, but Harry didn’t let up, instead he pulled Severus closer to him, leaning back on the closed door and allowing his hands to roam all over the wool-clad back. He moaned as Severus moved to suck gently at his neck, and buried his face in silky black hair, his lips grazing Severus' ear as he whispered seductively, "I remember. I remember you, how good you felt against me, inside of me, I remember it."

Severus stopped his ministrations, and pulled back slightly, meeting lust-darkened emerald eyes and speaking softly. "Harry?"

"It's me, I promise."

Severus breathed in deeply, and leant his forehead on Harry's, trying to still his body even as Harry's hands snaked up under his jumper. "Harry…Harry please don't."

Harry drew his hands back and hung his head. He'd fucked up a perfectly good evening by being a whore…Rook was right, he was…

"Harry, stop chastising yourself and listen to me."

Forced to look up, Harry met obsidian eyes and saw no hint of a lie.

"We need to take more time. You need to know what you're getting into with me before you get into it. Tonight was only our first date, as such. Please, let me do right by you in this."

Harry nodded, and returned the smile that Severus gave him. Another kiss followed; softer and more sedate, before Severus pulled back and smiled again. "I'm going to get a glass of water, would you like anything?"

"No, thanks."

"Then get to bed."

Harry smiled, and followed Severus' directives. He fell into the comfort of his bed and grinned stupidly at the ceiling, deliriously happy at the state of his screwed up little life…


	14. Court Me.

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

 

 

_"I understand your reluctance, but we really do need to talk about what it was that started all of this."_

_"Nothing! There was nothing that happened! My life was good, my life was easy and stress-free and no-one was trying to kill me! So naturally, I had to fuck it up for myself!"_

_Healer Radcliffe leant back in his chair and surveyed Harry over his tented fingers. "Perhaps that is the reason?"_

_"What, that I have a suicide gene or something?"_

_"No, that there was nothing left to fight for. The effects of the war were long lasting and far reaching. When your psyche finally recovered from that, there was nothing left for you to worry about. Your mind no longer had a reason to fight to keep itself together, and so shattered."_

_"So what do I do? Go out and find another psychopath with a desire to kill me? You tell me what to do, and I will do it."_

_"Harry, I can't do that. You yourself need to deal with the traumas of your past, and lay them to rest."_

_"I'VE FUCKING DONE THAT!"_

_"Please do not shout. You obviously haven't Harry or we wouldn't be here. You need to accept what happened and move past it, and realise that a lack of danger does not mean a lack of life. You have to rejoin your psyche and force Rook and Kyle to become dormant again."_

_"And then this is over?"_

_"This will never be over. You will need to take your potion for the rest of your life, and you will have to talk…truly talk about your feelings in order to prevent handing your alters any ammunition."_

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry got home a little after eleven, and bounded into the potions lab, surprised to find it empty. He was certain Severus had said they could spend the day together – he wouldn't have gone out, would he? With less of a spring in his step, Harry went back upstairs and entered the kitchen. He'd barely entered the room when he was pulled into a deep kiss, and Harry hummed with satisfaction as he melted into Severus' arms. They kissed for long minutes before Severus pulled away, smiling gently down at Harry and brushing a lock of raven hair out of his eyes. "Hello imp, how was this morning?"

"Not bad, I didn't get told off or anything!"

Severus chuckled, and Harry shuddered gently, making the older wizard quirk an eyebrow. "What, are you cold?"

Harry blushed, and tried to move over to the kettle, but found that he was being held in place by Severus, who was watching him thoughtfully with a small smile curving his lips. "Mr Potter, I asked you a question."

"I like your voice, _Professor_."

The words 'Professor' coming from those plump, adult lips, spilling out of the boy looking up at him coyly through his fringe, made a matching shiver run through Severus' own body, and he leaned even closer in, his lips ghosting over Harry's cheek as he whispered, "I'll have to bear that in mind then."

Harry finally got free of Severus and tried to ignore the ache in his groin as he crossed to the kettle. Thankfully, when Severus next spoke it was in his normal voice not the sexy drawl that wrecked Harry's mind.

"I have about an hours worth of work to do, and I said I'd look at the Wolfsbane formula for Remus. However, I believe I shall join you for lunch at half twelve, and we can find out how Magdalena is going to get her revenge on Luciana for stealing Miguel off her."

Harry nodded, and listened to Severus progress down the stairs. He was just about to lose himself in a rather shamelessly fantasy when the kettle began to whistle. Making a cup of tea, he headed into the lounge and flicked on the TV. Nothing like a bit of Phil and Fern to while away the morning…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry loved the feeling of lying wrapped up with another man. It had been this that he'd been holding for, waiting for; the sense of belonging with someone regardless of the activity. As they watched the catfight unfold between Ana and Margarita, Harry thought back over his behaviour, and frowned. He'd been stupid, and childish, all for the sake of a petty grudge. As the credits began to roll, Harry tipped his head up and smiled gently at Severus, who looked a little surprised at his movement.

"I thought you were asleep?"

"No, just quiet. Would you like to go out somewhere tonight?"

"Where do you have in mind?"

"Well…there's…uh…there's this restaurant…"

"Harry, going out to a restaurant is a proper going-out-as-a-couple date. Is that what you want?"

Harry flushed, and nodded as he stared at the buttons on Severus' shirt. He felt long fingers tracing intricate patterns on his back through the tee-shirt he had on, and then they stopped, pressing flat against his back and pushing him into Severus' embrace. They kissed gently, and when he pulled back, Harry saw something that he couldn't identify in Severus' eyes.

"I'd like that. Is it formal?"

"Yeah. Not black-tie or anything, but…smart, you know?"

"Mmmhmmm. Let me hunt out my credit card while you book a table."

"Sev you don't…"

"I feel bad enough that you paid for the cinema last week. If I'm courting you, I'm doing this properly. Now, why aren't you getting a table?"

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Harry, this is the kind of restaurant that you wait months to get a table at."

"Yes."

Severus looked across the beautifully secluded little table and fixed Harry in a firm stare. He waited until the Gryffindor squirmed just a little before quirking an eyebrow. "So how did you get the best table in the place just this afternoon?"

"I…this is Hannah Abbot's restaurant, I just name-dropped and she gave it to me. I didn't want to go somewhere crap for our second date."

"I appreciate the effort. Have you eaten here before?"

"No, but I ate where she used to work, and her fish is to die for."

"In that case, I will go with the salmon."

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

Severus smiled, and when the waiter came over he ordered for the both of them, requesting sparkling water and a half-bottle of white wine. Harry smiled as the drinks came over, and was surprised when Severus poured him a half-glass of wine. He questioned it quietly, and Severus gave him a gentle smile that Harry had never seen before two months ago, and was now very acquainted with.

"Half won't hurt, just for a toast when we eat. Besides, this is a very good wine, you need to try it."

Harry smiled and let himself go, enjoying the secluded slice of heaven he had landed himself in, complete with dashing man and great food. It was at a lull in the conversation that Harry stretched out his legs and accidentally knocked his foot against Severus' calf. He saw the older man swallow prominently, and did it again. He desperately wanted to kick off his shoes, but he couldn't, so he settled for running his dress-shoe-clad foot up and down the strong calf muscle. Eventually, Severus looked up and fixed him in a dark gaze.

"Stop, before we have problems."

As the meaning of Severus' words sunk in, Harry blushed and moved his foot back into his own airspace. He looked up and smiled apologetically at Severus, but the older man didn't look angry. As the waiter took away their empty plates, Severus stretched a hand across the table and laid it over Harry's, enjoying the contact for a moment before speaking, "Would you like some dessert?" 

Harry groaned internally, his cock half-hard against his thigh. He mentally shook himself, and smiled coyly at Severus. "Can we share?"

Severus couldn't stop the look of surprise. He'd never share a dessert before; it was the stuff of bad romance novels, he didn’t realise people did that in real life. Realising he'd been silent too long; he nodded gently and squeezed Harry's hand. "Of course, if that is what you'd like."

"It is. I'm going to go freshen up, you order for us, yeah?"

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus had ordered chocolate cake with a thick, warm fudge sauce and double cream. They'd shared it, Severus working the spoon while Harry obediently ate and tried to control his rampaging erection, and were now sat far too close to each other in the taxi on the way home. Harry had no idea what he should say, and was half-worried that if he did open his mouth every thought in his head would come tumbling out and Severus would jump ship. He waited while Severus paid the taxi driver, and smiled as he felt Severus wrapping his coat around his shoulders. They never stopped outside number twelve; a habit from the war that neither of them could shake. It was a five minute walk, and Harry found he was grateful not of the coat, but of the warm arm holding it in place.

Once inside, Severus stopped on the welcome mat and pulled Harry into a searing kiss. He felt his body screaming at him to act, but he was going to pull away, he truly was going to pull away, but then Harry's erection pressed into his hip, and even as his brain screamed at him to just go to bed before he did irrevocable damage his body wrapped tighter around Harry, backing the brunette up against the closed door and grinding their hips together. It was, strangely enough, Harry's moan of pure pleasure that forced Severus to pull back from the edge, stepping back from the kiss.

"Please, Sev please!"

"Harry…no…too soon."

Harry growled and tried to recapture the glorious friction on his erection, but Severus had put even more space between them, and looked positively ill. "Sev?"

"No, Harry. It's too soon."

"No it isn't! Damn it, that didn't stop you last time!"

Both men looked at each other in shock, and Harry felt a blush rising up his cheeks at an alarming speed. "Oh gods Sev I…"

"I know it didn't, and that is a betrayal I must live with every day. I am going to go for a walk before bed, good night Harry."

Harry moved without protest, heading up the stairs without putting himself through the pain of watching Severus walk out of the door…

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry woke up cold and alone in his bed, with the overwhelming desire to be sick. He bolted to the bathroom and curled around the bowl, retching violently until there was nothing left and standing up to stare at himself in the mirror. He couldn't believe he'd said what he had, couldn't believe that he'd ruined such a damn perfect evening by being a jerk. Gargling with water he glared at his reflection before spitting and heading back into his bedroom. There was a breakfast tray on the bedside table, and from the temperature of the tea it had been there a little while. Harry felt a stab of pain at the idea Severus hadn't woken him, and sank onto the bed fully intending to ignore the tray like Severus had ignored him. However, his interest was piqued by a piece of folded parchment bearing Severus' elegant script. He took it, and read slowly.

_Harry,_

_Before I say anything else, let me say that last night was one of the greatest_  
nights of my life. Spending time with you is something that I look forward   
to greatly, and last night was possibly the most enjoyment I have had in a   
very long time. 

_Please understand that I didn’t back away from you for the reasons I know_  
you are telling yourself now. Articulation in matters of the heart is not my   
strong point but I shall try, for you. 

_That night, four months ago, will forever torment me. I was drawn to you,_  
and I slept with you even as I told myself that I should not. Finding out later  
that you were ill, under the effects of a psychological condition, only   
compounded my sorrow at my actions. I should have identified the pull for   
what it was – a fledgling soul-bond, and shown it the respect that it demands.  
Instead, I gratified my own needs without a thought for yours. What I did  
that evening was wrong, and I doubt I will ever truly forgive myself. But   
I do not regret it. I do not regret the act, nor the consequences. I only wish   
it had come under better circumstances. 

_I have only recently identified my feelings in those first few weeks after_  
our meeting. I was hurt. I was hurt that you could seem so indifferent to me,  
and I was hurt more than I thought was possible by your reaction to finding  
out I was the father of your child. I was hurt, Harry, because I know now that   
I love you. I cannot survive another situation where you look at me with   
regret in your beautiful green eyes. I would rather see hatred, disgust,   
animosity, anything towards me other than regret. 

_I acted as I did last night because I did not want such a perfect, beautiful_  
evening to be marred by a morning of regret. I did not want you to come down  
from the haze that we both were in and question your actions with regards to   
me. I acted as I did, Harry, because I love you. Because I want you to be safe  
and certain before we alter our relationship so fundamentally. I acted as I did   
because I want to be your all, your everything, and there is still so much we  
do not know about ourselves, about each other. 

_Please Harry, let me become to you what you are to me, for anything less  
would be cheating us both._

_My one, my all._

_Severus._


	15. My One, My All

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485 & potion_lady; Thank you m'dears!**

 

 

_Harry watched the clouds from his position curled up on the window sill and smiled softly. He hadn't said much this morning, but there was nothing left to say, really. Smiling again, he turned to face Healer Radcliffe and tried to explain himself. "I know I've not said much. I guess…there isn't really much to say. I'm happy, for the first time in so long. I never thought that being with Severus would make me happy, but it does. I think this might really be something."_

_"I believe four months of baby can testify to that."_

_Harry laughed, and ran a hand over his rounded abdomen, grinning again._

_"And how many incidents have you had?"_

_"A couple. Not as many as I thought I would. I'm doing good. It's Severus. He's the reason I'm doing so well. I can't even get my head around that fact, but I know it's true."_

_Healer Radcliffe smiled and waved as Harry stood up and exited. He turned to his notes and frowned down at them. He'd expected Harry to experience more episodes as his alters fought for control, but it seemed that Severus was a very lucky charm after all._

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus felt a soft hand on his cheek and moved slightly into the touch. He was in that wonderful, warm, safe place just between dreams and consciousness, and he felt it as the bed shifted gently. Falling into wakefulness, he opened his eyes and found Harry looking at him. The brunette had tears in his eyes and there was evidence of tears on his cheeks as well. Severus moved to sit up, but Harry smiled at him, shaking his head softly.

"No, Sev. Shift up."

Not knowing where this was leading, Severus moved to allow Harry to climb into the bed, glancing at the clock and seeing that it was just after midnight. He hadn't seen Harry since he'd left breakfast and a letter, and Severus' mind couldn't imagine what was happening now. He waited with baited breath as Harry lay down carefully in his bed, and felt the brunette's hand reach out for his. Silently, Harry laid his hand flat against the swell of his abdomen, and Severus stayed silent, waiting patiently for Harry to reveal what he was doing. After long minutes, Severus was about to speak when he felt it. Felt the first sign of life from their baby, felt the gentle kicking of their child.

"I had to come and share this with you."

Severus felt his own emotions bubbling dangerously close to the surface and he swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. After the kicking stopped he left his hand resting against Harry, and the next time they spoke the clock had ticked round to nearly one.

"Can I stay here?"

"Yes. Get comfortable."

Harry moved to lie on his side, and felt Severus spoon around his back. He lifted his head and settled it back down on Severus’ arm, feeling the other wrap around his waist, fingers splayed on his abdomen as Severus pressed tightly into his back. This felt good, this felt right, and Harry smiled gently as he spoke. "You are the father of this child inside of me and I will always hold a torch for you just for that. I don't know how to explain what I feel when I look at you, the attraction and sheer sexuality of knowing that you are a part of the precious cargo I carry. I can feel the magic of this child swirling inside of me, elements of both of us combined and linked in a tiny life. I love you simply for being a part of this with me, and I will always love you as the father of my first-born child.

“But there's more than that. I love that you cut so easily through my bullshit. You don’t tolerate small talk because you know I'd use it to deflect attention from the real problems. You were the first person to treat me as a kid, as a person with flaws and faults just like everyone else. You never let me think that being the Boy Who Lived gave me any kind of elevated standing with you. And as we got older I had to realise that even your dislike of me was borne of me, not those that came before me. And I hated you for that, for forcing me to accept my own limitations and not gloss over the hard stuff. I hated you when we trained for the war, for never being satisfied with me, never thinking that what I did was enough, always making me work harder, cast stronger, fight longer.

“But I needed that during the war. I know that without you I wouldn't have walked away from that final battle. And I need it now. I need you because I can look at you and know that no matter how long I live, there will not be one day where you let me off the hook just for being the Boy Who Lived. I need your strength and your honesty to help me raise this child. I need to love you, Severus, because anything else just doesn't feel right. And I need you to love me too, because every time I look at you I feel my soul lifting inside me and I need that feeling in my life. I love you." 

Harry fell silent, and it wasn't long before his breathing evened out and his fingers relaxed in Severus' hand, signalling sleep. Then, and only then, did Severus allow his tears to fall and drench the pillow beneath his head.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry woke up in a tight embrace with a rampant morning problem. Unsure of what he should do, and aroused to the point of pain, he tried to break free of Severus' arms without waking the older man, but it seemed that the gods were not smiling on him that morning.

"Good morning, Mr. Potter."

It was that drawl again. That silky, sexy, chocolate covered drawl did absolutely nothing to help Harry's current predicament. Taking a deep breath, he just hoped that Severus hadn't noticed. "Morning. Can I use your bathroom?"

Severus' hand moved from its place on the swell of Harry's abdomen to the waistband of his low slung cotton slacks, raking through coarse black hair and tugging gently, sending a rush of sensation through Harry's body. Harry stayed silent as Severus' fingers played with his happy trail before falling still, giving Harry nothing to distract him from the sexy voice purring in his ear. 

"To take care of this, I presume?"

Feigning ignorance wouldn't work so Harry nodded mutely, glad that Severus could not see the deep blush staining his cheeks. The fingers resumed raking through the bristly hair and then they moved lower, finding the slit in his pyjama bottoms and sliding in. Harry canted his hips forward as he felt warm fingers slide around his stiff cock and he moaned low in his throat. Severus' movements were firm and fast, jerking up and down his shaft. Harry lost the battle to stay still and silent, thrusting his hips forward and back in the grip, moaning and mewling as his climax rushed closer to him. His mind fixed on the feel of Severus all around him, those wicked fingers adding a little twist at the head of his cock. That silky smooth voice ordered _‘Come for me, Harry,’_ and Harry screamed as he emptied over Severus’ fingers and the bed sheets.

Severus held Harry as the brunette panted, coming down from his high slowly, his blush reaching just far enough for Severus to see a hint of it on the back of his neck. Leaning forward he placed a kiss at the nape of Harry's neck, then bit the same spot gently. "I'll make some breakfast. Come down when you've used the bathroom."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry's mouth dropped open as he surveyed the veritable feast Severus had laid out for breakfast. His lingering embarrassment at the morning's activities was forgotten as he settled down and began to eat, looking up to smile at Severus occasionally. The older man was beautiful to watch, and Harry felt an easy calm washing over him. Maybe, just maybe, he'd get through this illness in one piece.

"Are you listening to me?"

"Sorry, what did you say?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, and took a mouthful of coffee before repeating himself. "I asked if you would be OK if I went out for a few hours after _My Restless, Bleeding, Dying Heart_?" 

Harry felt his heart crash through his chest and nodded before returning his gaze to a breakfast that no longer seemed so appealing. Severus saw this shift, and moved his foot under the table to nudge against Harry's leg, bringing startled emerald eyes up to meet his own. "I need some potions ingredients. You can come too. I merely thought you’d be happier not spending hours on end in a dusty apothecary."

"Probably. I'll be fine."

"Would you like me to get anything for you?"

"Some chocolate? And some more hot sauce, we're almost out. Thanks, Sev."

Severus smiled and took his empty plate over to the sink. "Right, well, we have four hours until we find out how Miguel wins back Magdalena. What would you like to do?"

Harry's interested cock knew exactly what it’d like to do, and he swallowed nervously before answering. "Erm…anything. If you have potions to make then I can read or something."

"The new issue of Potions Monthly arrived this morning. I'll read with you."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry stared blankly at the TV screen, desperately missing the soothing presence of Severus by his side. He'd claimed that he would be fine watching soaps all afternoon, but truth be told he only really enjoyed the ones that Severus would watch with him. And then, as if all that wasn't distracting enough, there were the events of that morning to keep Harry's over-worked brain occupied. He blushed just at the thought, but he'd enjoyed it, too. Now the only question was how to convince Severus to let him return the favour. Because returning the favour was the only thing on Harry's mind right now.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus scuffed his feet, a nervous habit, as he waited for Molly Weasley to open the door to him. When she did, he could see that everyone he'd sent a note to was in the kitchen. Molly glared at him. 

"Where's Harry?"

"Not coming, it was I who sent the notes."

Severus saw the Weasley matriarch gearing up for a rant and stepped smoothly into her home, using the shock of his inappropriateness to speak to the others. "I sent the notes because I knew you would come for Harry, not for me. I wish to organise a birthday party for him, and as you would all be invited it makes sense to garner your input."

"You what?"

"I am planning a birthday party for Harry. I require your input. Which part of this escapes your understanding, Mr. Weasley?"

"Who the hell--"

"Ronald!"

Severus smirked internally at Hermione's admonishment of her husband but kept his features neutral as she turned to address him.

"You know, we'd be more inclined to help you if you were civil. Why do you want our help?"

"Because you know Harry's likes and dislikes better than I."

"Why are you doing this for him?"

Severus paused at that, and tried to find an appropriate answer. He couldn't. He had no intention of revealing his feelings to the Weasley collective, so he merely fixed Hermione in a cool stare. "Because I can." 

She nodded and stood up, bussing a kiss over Ron's startled cheek. "OK, we'll go shopping. I assume this will be at Grimmauld Place on the night of Harry's birthday?"

Severus nodded, and Hermione summoned her handbag before fixing Ron in a firm glare. "This is Harry's birthday and we are going to make it good for him. No one, but no one, is going to cause a scene. If you feel that you cannot celebrate your friends twenty-seventh birthday knowing that he is embarking on a relationship with Severus, then kindly make work arrangements for that evening. This will be kept from Harry so that he has a nice surprise on the day. Any of you good for nothing boys messes this up, and you will answer to me."

The others watched as Hermione took Severus by the elbow and walked out of the Burrow. Molly raised a hand to her heart, smiling widely. "That's my daughter-in-law. Right, you heard Hermione! Ginny, help me with the catering, will you? Goodness knows Severus has dropped us in it, only three days to prepare! Ronald, watch the children, I don't trust you in the kitchen. Draco dear, tell everyone else."

Ron, Ginny and Draco swapped a look before jumping up to carry out their designated tasks. Ron looked disgusted, but Ginny caught Draco's arm, leaning close to whisper, "Maybe you were right after all, ferret-face."

"I am always right, Ginevra."

"That’s not what Charlie says."

"Then your darling brother will pay handsomely tonight. Get to baking, little woman!"

Ginny swore loudly and threw an egg at Draco as he apparated away, laughter lighting up his face. She baulked under Molly's firm gaze, and moved over to the work bench, cracking the rest of the eggs and beginning to beat them with a fork. "What do you think of all this, Mum?"

"I don't know. I trust Harry to do what's best for himself. To conceive a child they must have some feelings for each other. And sometimes the best relationships are born out of adversity. Just look at Draco and Charlie. When Charlie brought Draco home I wanted to hex him into next week, but I love Draco like my own now."

Ginny nodded and flashed her mother a smile. "I see you've been teaching Hermione how to manage Ron."

"That girl is a born natural. I knew as soon as I saw her that she'd be good for Ron."

"Yeah. Shame it took Ron six years to catch on!"


	16. Birthday

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485 & potion_lady; Thank you m'dears!**

 

_  
"And you have no problems with your potion?"_

_Harry smiled dreamily and shook his head. "No, Severus makes it perfectly. Is there anything else we need to talk about today?"_

_"No, do you have somewhere to be?"_

_"Just want to get home again. I honestly feel better, in control of myself. Soon I won’t even need to come here, I just know it."_

_Healer Radcliffe smiled as Harry bounded out of his office. The brunette was finally talking honestly about himself, and beginning to make peace with his past. Combined with the potion he took, things were looking up for Harry. It seemed that Severus was the root of that, and Healer Radcliffe hoped that the older wizard would continue to be such a source of strength for Harry. Looking back over his notes, he saw that Harry’s temper had levelled out over the past few weeks and closed the case file with a soft smile. Perhaps this case wasn't as severe as they had first thought._

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry could feel sexual tension thrumming through his body, but he could pinpoint its exact location, and he knew it was _him_ feeling it and not Rook. Severus had been in a remarkably good mood since his trip to the apothecary, and had asked Harry out to dinner tonight to celebrate his birthday. Harry was a little worried about what his friends would think. It would be the first time in a long time that he hadn't spent his birthday night with them. But the promise of one-on-one time with Severus was too much to pass up, and Harry checked his appearance in the mirror one last time before heading downstairs. He was dressed in a simple blue shirt and jeans, magically enlarged to cover his six-month pregnant frame. He could never get the glamour to hide his bump right, and as they were going to a muggle restaurant he'd need it, but Severus could do that. 

Harry headed to the living room and walked in, fully expecting to find Severus where he'd left him -- sprawled in front of the TV, smug as hell after their steamy snogging session.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Harry's mouth dropped open in shock as he surveyed his friends and the mass of food and decorations, the insides of party poppers falling gently to the floor. Severus was stood to the side, his face displaying nothing but happiness even as his eyes were laced with worry. Harry felt his lips quirking into a smile. "Did you do all this?"

"Well it wasn't Merlin himself, that's for sure."

Harry smiled at the snarkiness, and rested a hand on his hip, content to ignore the others for a minute. "You did all this for me?"

There was a flush to Severus' cheeks, so slight that you wouldn't even notice it unless you spent a great deal of time studying his face, which Harry did. "Yes, I did."

Severus had been the focus of Harry's hormones a lot since they'd embarked on this journey, and for a minute he thought Harry was going to yell at him. Instead, he found himself with an armful of pregnant, joyful Gryffindor trying simultaneously to kiss him stupid and not cry.

"Sev…amazing…love…it…you…"

Severus smiled gently at Harry as he placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on his cheek, pushing the Gryffindor back slightly. "Save your thanks for in the morning, when you get my bill. The punch is non-alcoholic and there is a death penalty on spiking it…" Severus looked away from Harry and glared pointedly at the twins before continuing, "…so enjoy, and happy birthday."

Leaning down to give Harry a gentle kiss, Severus ignored the noise of disgust emanating from one of the Weasley males then broke away with a smile to allow Harry to greet his other friends. 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry slipped away from his conversation with Fred and George and headed towards the kitchen. He'd seen Severus and Draco go in a while ago, and wondered what was keeping them. He reached the door and stopped dead as their conversation slipped through the partially closed door.

_"So what are you going to do?"_

_"I don't want to be a divorcee, but I see no other way to get around this. If only I could divorce Harry without him knowing."_

Harry felt his blood run cold and was going to slip away, but then Ron was there, walking into the kitchen and herding Harry with him. 

"Honestly, Mate, you were blocking the door a bit. Where's the vodka?"

Severus looked at Harry and found the brunette watching the floor intently. Damn. Realising Ron hadn't been answered, he levitated the bottle out of the cupboard and waited for Draco to shoot him a sympathetic look before herding Ron back into the main room.

"I wasn't…"

"How much did you hear?"

"Just a little bit. I never…I thought we…"

"Oh, come here, you insufferable brat."

Severus' open arms and gentle smirk were at odds with what Harry had heard, but he moved quietly into the embrace, feeling Severus press a kiss to his head before speaking in a low voice, just an octave or two above his bedroom voice. "You weren't supposed to know about that until I was ready. I told you I wanted to do this thing with you properly, and I meant it. I don't want our wedding day to be what it was. So I've been looking into divorce so that I can propose properly, and we can have a wedding day where we have pictures and happiness."

Harry smiled and burrowed tighter into Severus' arms. Of course that was the reason, and Harry's momentary panic subsided instantly. "Can't we just have another ceremony? When I'm not pregnant and can look good in the photos?"

"You'd look good if we did it right now. And yes, we can do that. I just want things to be perfect for you."

"They are perfect. I have you, finally, and I'm not letting go. We can have another ceremony, and I’d like to actually get wedding rings this time, but no divorce, okay?"

Severus smiled, and tipped Harry's face up gently, smiling down into deep eyes. "That sounds perfect."

As Severus brushed his lips against Harry's and the brunette melted into him, he heard gagging noises and pulled away to glare at the youngest Weasley child. Harry turned in his arms and raised an eyebrow at Ginny, who shielded her face in mock fear.

"Harry, you've got his stare down to a fine art! And you two are disgustingly sweet."

"Call me sweet again, Miss Weasley, and you will pay dearly."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You forget, _Severus_ , that I've seen you stressing over this party and whether or not Harry would like it."

"I do not stress. Now get out of the kitchen before I hex the red out of your hair."

Ginny flipped a finger and walked out of the kitchen, and Harry turned back in Severus' arms. "You were stressed about this?"

"I do not stress. I was merely debating the merits of surprising a pregnant Gryffindor. I suspect I would be implicated if you died of a heart attack."

"I love it. I love that you did all this for me and worked with my friends even though you don't like them. I love you, Severus."

"And I you, Imp. Now, back to the party I laboured over."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry had fallen asleep on the sofa somewhere around one in the morning, and Severus had herded out the remaining guests and cleared up most of the mess. He didn't have the heart to wake Harry, so he levitated him up to bed before retiring to his own room. He was almost asleep when the door cracked open and Harry ambled into his room, blanket wrapped tightly around his body as he moved to stand at the foot of Severus' bed.

"Harry?"

"Can't sleep. Can I get in? I brought my own blanket."

"You don't need your blanket, and yes, you can get in."

Harry smirked and Severus sat up in the bed, looking at the Gryffindor and noticing that he had something clutched in his hand. Slowly Harry released his grip on the blanket and let it pool to the floor, and Severus swore softly. He drank in the sight of Harry's body, lean and toned and covered in acres of golden skin. He devoured every muscle and the swell of his abdomen with greedy eyes. As he moved past the prominent bump of their child, Severus' eyes darkened with lust at the sight of Harry's erect cock, thick and hard and bobbing gently as it jutted out from a thatch of coarse dark hair. 

"Sev?"

"Harry…you have to be sure…I won't be able to stop…"

Harry nodded and opened his closed fist, revealing a tube of lubricant. "Good. I don't want you to stop, ever. Please, Sev?"

Severus' resolve shattered and he climbed gracefully out of the bed, pulling Harry into a breath stealing kiss as he took the lubricant from the brunette and trailed one hand up and down his spine before tangling it in unruly hair. Everything was poured into that kiss. The raw emotion coursing through Severus spilled into Harry's mouth with every meeting of their tongues, and Severus had never felt anything as perfect in his life. Harry's hands were running over his skin, coming to rest on his hips. Gentle thumbs ran under the waistband of the boxers he was wearing, the only sleepwear that could be tolerated during the balmy summer nights.

He pulled away from the kiss with a sucking sound and rested his forehead against Harry's, breathing deeply and tasting the brunette on the air. "Once more, Harry, are you sure?" 

"Yes."

"Get on the bed. Lie on your back in the centre."

Severus smirked as Harry scrambled onto the bed, but his smirk was lost on a sharp intake of breath as Harry let his legs fall open, and Severus' entire body jerked in the direction of the brunette. Shucking his boxers, he heard Harry's voice catching with lust.

"Oh, yes, fuck me."

Severus paused for a moment, one knee resting on the bed, and studied Harry. The brunette seemed to read his mind because he blushed and reached a hand out to stroke Severus' leg softly. "This is all me, I promise. I've just never…you know… _seen_ you."

"And do you like what you see?"

Harry nodded fervently. Did he ever! Severus' cock was a study in beauty -- slightly shorter than you would expect looking at the tall, wiry man, but so thick and hard. Harry bit his lip as he imagined the sensation of that inside of him. For a brief moment he panicked. Severus was substantially thicker than the two fingers Harry had dared play with in the shower, but he reminded himself that he'd taken this before.

Severus read the worry on Harry's features and moved to hover over the brunette on all fours. He moved so that their noses brushed together and held Harry's gaze as he drawled down at the man, "I am going to open you carefully, and then I am going to take your virginity, Harry. It will be pleasure you cannot imagine, and you will die on the inside, only to be born again as mine and mine alone, just as I am yours."

Harry moaned and lifted his head up to capture those sinful lips in a kiss, mumbling against them. "Sev…can't wait…please…"

Severus nodded and moved to settle on Harry's left side. He poured half the tube of lubricant over his fingers before catching Harry's eyes. "In the morning I will taste every inch of you, but right now you are mine to claim."

Harry nodded fervently and pulled Severus back into a sloppy kiss as the man's right hand disappeared down his body. He whimpered into the kiss as slick fingers danced over his entrance and pulled his legs further apart to give Severus better access. Severus' tongue plunged into his mouth just as one finger slid inside of him, and Harry shrieked around the spongy muscle, rocking his hips to get more of the friction, more of the delicious burn consuming his body.

Severus was pleased with Harry's reactions and pushed a second finger through the tight ring of muscle, scissoring gently to coax Harry's body into submission. Finding the spot inside Harry that Severus so coveted, he pressed against it and smirked into the kiss as Harry cried out. "Feel good, little one?"

Harry's response was a nonsensical noise and Severus sped up his actions, needing to be inside this seething mass of need and desire as soon as was safely possible. Three fingers were sliding in and out with relative ease, and Harry was thrusting down onto Severus' hand as a litany of pleas and curses tripped out of his mouth. Tomorrow, maybe the day after, Severus was going to watch the brunette fuck himself silly on his fingers, but for now he had something better for the job. 

It was only as Severus moved to kneel between Harry's legs that he saw the logistics problem they faced. He could enter Harry, but leaning over to kiss him was a no-go. Severus growled in frustration, but then inspiration struck. "Harry, get up on your knees with your back to me."

Confusion decorated the Gryffindor's face, but he did as he was told, feeling Severus move behind him and rest a hand on his hip.

Severus held his cock and positioned himself behind Harry, the scent of the brunette and sex invading every pore of his being. "OK, lower yourself down onto my lap slowly."

Harry complied quickly, Severus' hand on his hip guiding his pace. He felt the firm pressure, and then his muscles relented, allowing Severus' head to slip inside of him. Harry swore long and low, reaching his hands behind him to tangle in Severus' hair. Slowly, with Severus' support, Harry impaled himself on the thick organ, coming to rest in Severus' lap and letting out his breath in a whoosh.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh good gods, yes. I'm never moving again."

"Never?"

"Never."

Severus snickered and lifted Harry up slightly before bringing him back down, finding the little nub he'd searched out with his fingers earlier, making Harry whimper as his hands tightened painfully in Severus' hair. They found a rhythm that satisfied them both, and Severus sucked gently on Harry's neck, on the sensitive spot behind his ear, on his earlobe, as his hands wandered freely over Harry's body. He tweaked at pebbled nipples with just enough force to be pleasurable, but found his hands returning all the time to the swell of Harry's abdomen, stroking and swirling patterns on the taut skin. 

Harry was in heaven. This was real, and perfect, and happening, and if he didn’t have to live for the baby Harry was certain he'd have died of pleasure then and there. Severus' hands running over his body were magic, and Harry could feel his climax approaching rapidly. 

Severus growled. He knew they were both close and he wanted to _watch_ Harry come, damn it! Glancing around the room he spotted the mirror and levitated it over to rest on the wall above the headboard. This was much better; now he could see every inch of Harry's delicious body, and he moved a hand to wrap around the brunette's cock, stroking in time with his thrusts and watching their movements in the mirror. 

Harry was transfixed by the reflected sight of Severus' hand on his erection and the feel of insistent lips against his neck. But his unravelling came when he looked up and caught Severus' eyes in the mirror. The deep pools were glazed with lust and desire and love, and Harry screamed out as that piercing look pushed him over the edge, his head falling back onto Severus' shoulders as he jetted over the bed.

Severus was locked in place by Harry's body, unable to move either way as the rippling channel tore his orgasm from him. He was vaguely aware of shouting Harry's name, and then he might have blacked out for a second, he couldn't be sure. All he knew was that when his senses returned to him Harry was trembling softly. "Harry?"

"I love you."

Severus caught Harry's eyes in the mirror, seeing the fierce emotions at play even as a tear spilled down his cheek. "I love you too."

Severus moved carefully, sliding out of Harry's body, much to their mutual disappointment, and helping the Gryffindor settle on his side. He cradled Harry gently, but tightly, littering his cheek, neck and shoulder with kisses interspaced with declarations of love. They fell asleep wrapped up in each other, both men feeling as though they had reached home after an unbearably long journey, and both knowing they would never leave home again.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Rook waited patiently for Harry to give up the iron control he had on their body during his waking hours. The little bastard was learning to keep his alters down. Kyle had already given up the fight and returned to dormancy, but Rook would not be quelled so easily. He slowly took over control and woke himself up. The older man was wrapped around him, so Rook was careful not to wake him as he stood up. Heading into the bathroom Rook looked at himself and gagged. He was fat and ugly, and he needed to get rid of this…this… _parasite_ …before he could even think about finding a man or four.

Rook smirked as he dressed, taking a second to appreciate the sleeping form of the older man. He'd be destroyed by the loss of the child, but not half as destroyed as Harry. And that was what Rook was counting on. Harry was too strong right now for Rook to beat, but the loss of this parasite would devastate the wanker, and Rook would be able to retain control of their body and start living life the way it was meant to be lived – hard, fast, and with your legs spread.


	17. On The Run

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful Bookworm51485 & potion_lady; Thank you m'dears!**

 

**This chapter contains material which some readers may find upsetting. I would like to make two things very clear.  
1) This is a fictional story, and the subject matter discussed in this chapter serves a plot point. After reading the last chapter it really should be obvious that Rook is going to try and get rid of the baby. If that offends you, then feel free to skip this chapter and pick it up again in chapter eighteen.  
2) Do not even consider flaming me. It won't be tolerated. This is a **fictional story, not a soapbox, so do not try and start a war about morals here. If you want me to know your personal opinion on this subject, use the contact form, not the reviews box. 

***looks up* wow I sound like a bitch. I love all you readers very, very much, but the above is to protect me against the one narrow-minded fool that always pops up. *S*S***

 

_  
Healer Radcliffe looked up as his fireplace flared to life and a dishevelled Draco Malfoy tumbled out._

_"Healer Malfoy, what can I do for you?"_

_"Harry! He's gone! We have no idea where!"_

_Healer Radcliffe dropped his quill and followed Draco back into the fireplace…_

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus woke up to an empty bed and scowled. He'd had the most delicious dream about Harry and was upset that it wasn't true. But his subconscious railed and Severus looked over the cover, seeing the faint stain of semen. He sat up and listened hard. He couldn't hear Harry anywhere, and his blood chilled in his veins. As panic began to set in, Severus shook his head angrily. Harry wouldn’t just leave…would he?

Severus checked the house thoroughly and couldn't find the brunette. As he stood in Harry's bedroom wondering what the hell was going on, Severus spotted his young lover's wand on the bedside table. Harry went nowhere without his wand, especially now he was moving along in the pregnancy. Severus swore loudly before running to pull on some clothes, dressing in the first thing he found before apparating through the wards to the Burrow.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Sunday morning breakfast was something of a tradition at the Burrow, and as Molly was looking over her assembled brood with a proud eye the wards on the Burrow shook hard. They trembled for a moment and then shattered, the magic rolling in waves over the occupants as Severus appeared in the kitchen.

"Severus, what on earth—"

"HARRY! WHERE IS HE?!"

"Not here! Severus…"

Molly stopped speaking as she saw Severus spin wildly in place before raising his hands to his face. She crossed over to him, Hermione flanking her, and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Severus, what's happened?"

"I woke…woke up and he was gone."

Hermione was about to speak when Fred cut over her. "Did you check that his bed had been slept in?"

"Of course his bed hadn’t been slept in! He slept with me, you stupid little bastard! He slept with me and now he's gone, and his damn wand is still at home!"

Severus was trembling so hard his teeth were chattering, and it was the strangest thing in the world as Hermione stepped up to him and wrapped her arms around him, making soothing noises as he tried to get a hold on his emotions.

"Maybe he went for a walk?"

"He'd have left a note…he would have woken me…he wouldn't…I don't…"

"Hush, it's alright. Sit down and drink some tea. If he doesn’t have his wand he can't get into much trouble, can he?"

Severus allowed himself to be led to the table and a mug of tea to be pressed into his hand. He looked at it despondently until something clicked into place. "Harry doesn't go anywhere without his wand now. He's scared about being defenceless and the baby being hurt. He takes it into the kitchen to get popcorn, for Merlin's sake. But Rook—he doesn't know how to use it, so he wouldn't have taken it."

Silence fell as the implication of Severus' words were thought through by everyone in the group. Severus stared at the tea and found himself, for the first time in his life, voicing his fears to other people. "What if Rook's taken over?"

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Rook walked slowly through the thronging crowds, measuring up who he would sleep with and making a list in his head. Once this parasite had been dealt with, life was there to be taken by the balls. And the cock. And the pebbled nipples under his tongue. Oh yes, Rook was going to take life in hand and show it just what it had been missing out on. First though, his problem had to be dealt with.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Draco returned with Healer Radcliffe and got the man a cup of tea and a chair. Severus looked exactly as he had when Draco had left; completely gone out. He was staring out of the window as though that alone could bring Harry back. Healer Radcliffe moved to stand in front of the window, forcing Severus to look at him instead. "Mr. Snape, how long has Harry been missing?"

"I…"

Severus felt his voice falter, and buried his head in his hands. He had no idea what to do, and as tears prickled his eyes his subconscious kicked up. _'Severus Tobias Snape! Harry is depending on you to get him out of this mess just like you've gotten him out of every other mess. Now buck up and think! He'll be found a lot quicker if you just **think**!'_.

"He…uh…I woke up at eight, and we fell asleep around two. So he could have been gone anytime up to seven hours."

"You were together last night?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And what?"

"And how did Harry react to that?"

"I…he…it was his idea! I didn't…it wasn't like before!"

Healer Radcliffe nodded and took a long draught from his tea. "I'm sure it wasn't. So Harry was happy when you last spoke to him?"

"Yes. Then this morning…he was gone. And he left his wand behind! He takes it everywhere with him. I don't think Harry's in control of himself! It's Rook, and I have no idea what he's doing or where he'd go!"

Healer Radcliffe closed his eyes and thought back over everything he knew about Harry. Nothing gave a hint as to where Harry or Rook may be, but it was Draco who suggested a plan. 

"Look, there are a lot of us. Severus, you go back to Grimmauld Place with Molly—"

"I'm not going back."

"Severus, if he comes home and you aren’t there he'll panic. The rest of us will start searching. Healer Radcliffe, how far could he have gone?"

"I don't know. Even if Rook took over just after Harry went to sleep, where would he go at that time? He must have waited until early in the morning before leaving, otherwise he'd just be walking the streets. And he has no magic. He must be in Muggle London, and he must be close. He'd stick to places he knew, places he was familiar with."

Draco nodded and rested a hand on Severus' shoulder, squeezing hard. "Go and wait for him to come home, and give him what for when he does, okay?"

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Rook walked past his favourite club and smirked. If all went well he'd be back there soon. All it would take was a little cunning and he'd be back where he belonged, while the snivelling little fucker got a taste of what it was like to be held down in the recesses of his subconscious mind.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Severus paced, desperately trying not to panic. The longer he thought on it the more convinced he became that Rook was in charge of Harry's body right now. The pushy slut had been too quiet for too long, and Severus knew he'd do anything in his power to take control. Severus took the tea Molly held out, drinking it too fast and burning his mouth without even noticing the pain. He needed Harry home with him, before Rook did something that couldn't be undone.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Rook found the herbal store easily, and slid inside. The owner looked up from the Sunday paper and smiled.

"What can I do for you, Sir?"

"I need something to abort a child."

The server flinched slightly. Rook stepped up to the desk and dropped down the credit card he’d taken from Harry’s wallet. "Charge whatever you want, but give me something that will terminate a pregnancy."

The server looked at the card for a moment before disappearing into the back and coming out with a bottle of dark liquid. "This is Carachipita. It'll do what you want."

Rook smiled and reached out for the bottle. Flicking the cap off he raised the bottle in a mock toast to the confused server before bringing it to his lips. "So long, little screw-up."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Charlie had been walking aimlessly for nearly an hour and was about to give up and search out Draco, when he spotted a familiar nest of hair in the window of a shop. Relief washed over him as he sped up, but it disappeared when he saw Harry…or was it Rook…raising a bottle to his lips. Mindless of the countless muggles everywhere, Charlie pulled out his wand and bolted into the shop at full speed.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Maxine could deal with women coming in here wanting a cheaper way to get rid of an unwanted pregnancy, because it wasn't her place to pass judgement. And she knew some sent their boyfriends, but what the hell was this man doing drinking an abortant? His stomach was hideously distended for his sleight frame, but Maxine couldn’t think of a condition that could be helped by Carachipita. The man toasted her and raised the bottle to his lips.

"So long, little screw-up."

His twisted smile froze on his face and then he collapsed, the bottle spilling over the floor and rolling away from him. She got one look at the redheaded man holding what looked like a twig, before a blinding white light stole her vision and darkness followed…


	18. Aftermath

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful potion_lady; Thank you m'dear!**

 

 

Harry felt like he was surrounded with cotton wool, and he had to force his mind through the fog and confusion as he tried to open his eyes. If this was what the aftermath of sex felt like Severus was going to be mighty disappointed with Harry's new-found celibacy. Finally managing to clear enough space in his mind to function, Harry opened his eyes and looked up at a white tiled ceiling. His immediate thought was _'I'm in the Hospital Wing'_ but then he realised that didn't make sense since he wasn't at Hogwarts anymore. Harry began to sit up to take in his surroundings, but firm hands were holding his shoulders down. 

"You stay there, Imp."

"Sev? Where am I?"

"St. Mungo's."

Harry felt panic rise in his chest and tried to sit up again, but he was yet again thwarted by Severus holding him down. The older man moved to sit in the bed by his side, and from deathly pallor and blood shot eyes Harry could tell that Severus hadn’t slept in a few days. "Sev?"

"Harry, you're okay, and the baby is okay. You…I woke up on Sunday, and you'd gone. Rook had been waiting for you to let your guard down, and when you did he took over. He went out and we had to search to find you. But you're safe and so is the baby."

Harry allowed that knowledge to lift him for a moment, until reality nudged him again. "Why am I in St. Mungo's then?"

Severus stalled; he knew how this conversation was going to go. He knew how Harry would react, and though he loathed causing the boy pain, he knew that concealing the truth would be more painful in the long run. "Rook tried to get rid of the baby."

Harry heard the words and he saw Severus' face, and then his world crashed down around him. Instinctively, he moved his arms to encase his bump, and he focused on the second magic throbbing deep within him. The child was fine, and he realized that Severus was speaking to him again.

"Harry, please calm down. There was nothing you could have done. Charlie stopped Rook and you've been here for a day and a half. It’s Tuesday evening. You were recuperating. You aren’t hurt and neither is the baby. Harry, talk to me, please?"

"I tried…I tried to hurt the baby?"

"No, Harry, you didn't. Listen to me, you didn’t do anything wrong. You weren't yourself. Harry, please…"

"I'm tired. I want to go back to Grimmauld Place and sleep."

Severus stayed silent and watched as the brunette methodically up his defences and shut himself off from the outside world. For the moment he was at a loss for what to do, so he distracted himself with trying to find someone to sign Harry out.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry could hear voices in the sitting room, so he crept as quietly as he could into the kitchen, not wanting to be seen or heard. Every time Severus came upstairs he told Harry how worried his friends were, how much they wanted to see him, but Harry couldn't bring himself to care. He'd almost killed his child, and their simpering words wouldn't ever change that. He managed to get his tea without alerting anyone to his presence and was just about to leave the kitchen when he stubbed his toe on the doorframe. He managed to kill the curse on his lips but hit his mug against the doorframe, making a dull thump and sloshing tea down the frame and surrounding wall.

"Harry, is that you?"

He knew he was caught, and couldn't exactly run away as his foot was killing him, so Harry hobbled into the sitting room and stood in the doorway, carefully avoiding the eyes of Hermione, Ron, Charlie, Draco, Molly or Arthur. Severus stood up and crossed over to him, and Harry didn’t look at him either.

"Are you alright?"

"Stubbed my toe."

"You might have broken the bone, let me see and I can…"

"Just leave it, Severus!"

Severus stepped back at the venom in Harry's voice, unsure of what to say to the young man. He heard Molly stand up and bustle over to them, and hoped the Weasley Matriarch would have better luck with Harry.

"Harry, we've all missed you this past week. When you're back up to full strength you and Severus should come over for a meal; I have some old baby things that may be useful."

"I don't want them and I'm not coming."

Molly seemed shocked, and Harry turned to leave when he felt her hand on his arm. 

"Harry, you can't blame yourself for what Rook did, you…"

"Stop it! Stop acting like I'm not at fault! I tried to kill my baby! I've sat here and blamed Rook for this mess like he's some other person, but he isn't! He's a part of me and I tried to kill my baby! I don't deserve a child, or a life, or any of that! What the hell is wrong with you all, that you don't see how sick I am? If it hadn’t been for Charlie, I'd have killed this baby! Stop acting like that can be justified!"

Harry stormed up the stairs without a backwards glance, barely aware of the tears streaming down his cheeks. 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

"Harry?"

Harry buried his head further in his arms as he sat on the bathroom floor, back leant against the door as tears flowed down his cheeks. He couldn't let Severus in. He couldn't understand why the older man didn’t want to kill him for what he'd tried to do. 

"I know you don't want to talk but I'm going to sit out here and wait for you to come out. I love you, Harry, and I will wait as long as it takes."

Severus sat down next to the bathroom door, leaned against the wall and settled in for a wait. He tracked the time by the shadows on the wall, and it was nearly morning when he heard Harry's voice through the door.

"I don't deserve this child. I can't be a father."

"Alone, no, you can't. But with me…the two of us can do this, Harry."

"I tried to kill it."

"No, Rook did. Harry, I know it hurts, but you have to deal with this properly. If you allow yourself to become stressed you're giving Rook what he wants, and you're not going to get better. I need you to get better, the baby and I need you to get well and live your life with us."

"Sev, I…"

"Harry! You didn't do anything! I know you blame yourself, but you can't. If you do then Rook has won! I've met him, Harry, and he isn’t you! For Merlin's sake, Harry, you have to be stronger than this!"

"This is as strong as I am!"

"No, it isn't! You can beat this! I'm not going to sit here and watch as you throw your life away! You have the chance to have something so precious, so wonderful and perfect – a family! And if you throw that away it won't be Rook's fault, it will be yours! If you can live with throwing all that away then do it, but don't think I will stay and watch you self-destruct."

Severus stood up and began pacing. He wasn't entirely sure that tough love was the right way to handle this, but it had worked thus far with Harry. He paced up and down for almost an hour before the bathroom door opened and Harry leant in the doorway, reflected in the cold light. "Are you going to leave me?"

"Are you going to leave me?"

Harry shook his head and Severus moved to stand next to him. "You have your answer then."

Severus was prepared for a lot of things, but Harry's next statement was not one of them. 

"I tried to…I remember trying…trying to make him stop, but…but I couldn't. I couldn't fight through…and then he was drinking that stuff and it…it all went black and I thought…I remember thinking…Severus, I…"

Severus hated himself for being relieved at the tears streaming down Harry's face, but he was. Harry hadn't cried in front of him since he'd woken up and Severus blessed every tear as he moved to envelope Harry in his arms, careful not to put too much pressure on Harry's abdomen as he felt Harry's tears soaking through his shirt. He stood in the harsh light of the bathroom, grateful for every sob that wracked his young lover's body until Harry finally fell still against him, and Severus pressed gentle kisses to his hair. 

"I was so scared…I love this baby so much…"

"Then fight for it Harry. Fight for me, and you, and us, and the life inside you. Don't give in and don't let Rook win."

Harry felt everything, all of the pain, and loss, and fear, and joy, and love that were an integral part of every human soul, and he held Severus' eyes firmly. This was his chance and Severus was right. The only person standing between Harry and happiness was Harry himself. He nodded and ran a hand through his hair, trying to make Severus understand but not able to find the words for long minutes until, eventually, they came to him, and he said quietly, "I'll fight for you and our baby."

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Healer Radcliffe looked up as Harry fell silent, and smiled reassuringly. He levitated a box of tissues over to Harry and waited while the brunette wiped away his tears and laughed nervously. 

"Sorry, hormones have been giving me hell lately."

"They would do. Your body isn’t used to having oestrogen coursing through it."

"It isn't used to having no testicles."

Healer Radcliffe shared a grin with Harry before prompting the brunette into speech. "Was that a shock?" 

"A little. I wasn't properly awake so I kind of panicked. But Severus calmed me down and found some books, and then took me to Hermione's so I could talk to her."

"That's become a bit of a theme recently, Severus calming you down."

"I know. It…he grounds me. I feel safe working through my emotions with him because I know he'll pick up the pieces. The thought…when I first found out, the thought of this illness getting worse terrified me, and some days still it's so difficult just to make things work, but I have to. A child, a husband – it's everything I've wanted since I was a little boy, and if that means going through hell to heal then I will do it. Even…even for myself I'll do it, but the prospect of a family with Severus is an added incentive. I…when I was at school, I hated the way everyone put all these expectations and demands on me. I thought I'd be happy once I was free, but that proved to be a joke. A husband who needs me to raise a child we created…it's an expectation I do want. I never thought I'd say that, but it is." 

Healer Radcliffe nodded, sending over the box of tissues again and adding a few scribbles to his chart. "Alright, well, I'm glad that you're doing okay, and that your potion isn’t giving you any problems. Beyond that, unless you have any specific questions I think we can call it a day."

Harry shook his head and eased himself up slowly. "A day we shall call it; we're going to the Burrow on Sunday and you know how long it takes me to get places!"

Healer Radcliffe snickered, offering an arm to Harry and holding the door open for him. He smiled at Severus as the dour man set down the magazine he'd been reading, and leant in the doorframe as he watched the couple walk out arm in arm. Turning to his secretary he smiled softly at her. "Leigh, have I got enough time to go home before my next appointment?" 

The pretty receptionist looked up and quirked an eyebrow. "You have a staff meeting in an hour but I can send your apologies, and then your next appointment isn't until two. Is something wrong?"

"No, I just want to drop in on Maria; I haven't been home for lunch in months."

Leigh smiled and penned the note to explain her boss' absence from the staff meeting. She could understand him wanting to go home. Seeing a soul-bond always made her think about her own boyfriend. In fact, he'd probably be taking his own lunch break soon. She sent off the note and penned another to him, asking him on a lunch date with her.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry stumbled out of the fire at the Burrow and into Severus' waiting arms. At almost eight and a half months pregnant his centre of balance was shot to hell and he clung onto the older man for a minute as he found his equilibrium. Once he was sure he could stand unaided, he unfurled his hands from Severus' robes and grinned up at him. "My hero!"

"Quiet, Imp."

Harry snickered and waddled into the kitchen. He wasn't very impressed with the limited movement that pregnancy brought and he was equally unimpressed with the swollen ankles, constant discomfort, and need to pee every hour. The high sex-drive he could tolerate, just about.

"Harry!"

"Hey, Gin."

Harry allowed himself to be cuddled by the occupants of the Burrow as he looked at the table in interest. Sunday morning breakfast was a tradition and the entire brood showed up for it. Settling himself into a chair he rubbed his stomach and then groaned. "Sev, I'm thirsty."

"I care because?"

"Because you said to always tell you exactly what I felt so I don’t get poorly, and I feel thirsty."

Severus rolled his eyes and set about making some iced tea for Harry, who’d developed a sudden craving for the stuff as the third trimester began. "I meant important feelings, not this abuse of my good nature." 

"Good nature? Yeah, right! Besides, my being thirsty is important!"

Severus just rolled his eyes and took the chair next to Harry, setting the drink on the table and allowing Harry to drop a quick kiss on his cheek as Molly moved the last heaving plate of food over to the already strained table. He'd never admit it to anyone but he quite enjoyed this tradition. It fulfilled his 'be-nice-to-Harry's-friends' obligation, and since the dam had broken Harry had become much more obvious in his emotions; always touching Severus in some way. 

Severus took his customary black coffee and wholemeal toast, and pretended to read the Prophet as his mind wandered. Harry would keep up his therapy sessions for the foreseeable future, and would be taking a stabilising potion for the rest of his life, but he was happy again. Rook’s failed attempt at a coup seemed to have been what finally pushed Harry into dealing with and reattaching all the errant parts of his psyche. There were still moments when Harry was driven by a particular emotion, but Severus knew the man had always been like that. As with any mental illness, there would be ups and downs, but they would survive. Severus knew in his heart that there was no other option.

Harry knew Severus was lost in thought, but he needed to pee and might need a hand getting up the stairs. About two weeks ago he'd woken up one morning with no testicles and a hole that hadn't been there before. After Severus had calmed him down with words, touches, and a spectacular blowjob, they'd ascertained that it was his birth canal. Which had led to many conversations with Hermione about pain and pushing and how he would know the baby was coming. 

Harry stood up carefully and mumbled that he was going to the loo, but stopped as he felt warmth sweeping through his jeans. A steady trickling noise could be heard, and Harry stared down at the puddle on the floor as everyone else stared at him. Finally, Harry spoke softly. "I think my waters just broke."


	19. Epilogue

**Disclaimer - I do not own or profit from these characters. This story is a response to a prompt posted by Bookworm51485. It was meant to be a one-shot, but hey; it grew. Will be updated bi-weekly.**

**Warning – As well as the chapter warnings, this story will deal with mental illness. I am doing my best to write this with respect, but ultimately I may screw up. If anyone out there notices a glaring problem with my portrayal of Multiple Personalities, then feel free to message me and point it out. Don't flame me, because I get angry, and then I have to send my muse round with a big stick…it's just unnecessary. The portrayal of Multiple Personalities is specific to one character in this story, and is by no means a generalization of all sufferers. I am manipulating it to suit my story. Multiple Personalities is now known as D.I.D., and it is not believed that people truly have "multiple personalities". However, for the purposes of this story I am treating it as a wizarding illness.**

**Beta'd by the wonderful potion_lady; Thank you sweets, you've been a massive help!**

 

 

Harry heard the soft cries and hauled himself out of bed wearily. Severus ran a private business making potions for rich clients, specialising in those for Creatures, and as such, worked during the day. Harry felt it would be a little harsh to force him up during the night as well, especially considering the full moon was a week away and that was always a busy time. 

Wandering into the nursery, Harry leant down and scooped his little bundle of joy into his arms, moving to sit in the rocking chair and starting up a slow rhythm. He traced her cheekbones gently, smiling as she yawned and waved her tiny fists. He looked up as the door opened wider, and Severus walked into the room looking tired. "Is she alright?"

"Yeah, our little Katie is perfect. I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't. Come back to bed."

"Joshua will have a fit if he sees us with Katie in the bed without him."

"It was Joshua that woke me."

Harry sniggered and stood up, following Severus back into their room with Katie safe in his arms. Joshua was sat in the bed waiting, and Harry waggled his eyebrows at his three year old son. "What are you doing up, Mister?"

"Miss you!"

Harry smiled, and the four of them settled in the big bed. Joshua and Katie both fell asleep relatively quickly, and Harry met Severus' eyes. "Six months and she's already sleeping well."

"She has manners, like her father."

"Oi!"

Severus snickered, and reached over to ruffle Harry's hair gently. "Don't worry. Our little lion is his daddy's man through and through. The embarrassment of having a Gryffindor for a son!"

"Severus!"

"Joke! Though, how he could not have been a Gryffindor, born where he was!"

Harry smiled, and thought back to that fateful Sunday. The labour had been surprisingly quick and there had been no time to get to St Mungo's. So Harry had given birth in Fred and George's old room at the Burrow after only two hours. He thanked every god that Severus had been so insistent on making a potion to alleviate the pain, because once it became clear Harry was not going to St Mungo's, Severus had flooed back to their house to get the potion, administered it to Harry, and then been a well of strength through the labour. 

Until, of course, that very first look at his son, when Harry was flopped against the pillows and Molly held their son up to Severus. The dour man, so strong and steady a moment before, took one look at their child and hit the floor. "Because you fainting when you saw him for the first time was very Slytherin behaviour!" 

Severus flushed a little, and pulled Joshua tighter against him, curling the small boy up in his arms. "He was perfect. And I have enough with your friends bringing that up at every opportunity, thank you very much!"

Harry smiled, and curled his body protectively around Katie's sleeping form. The easy silence lulled him to sleep, wrapped up in the warmth and safety of his family.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry waved at Joshua as he and Severus walked away from the Burrow, making sure they were out of sight before apparating back to Grimmauld Place. As soon as they touched down Severus was claiming Harry's lips, thrusting his tongue in and out of his mouth as deft fingers moved to the buttons of his shirt. Once the garment was off, he was picked up in Severus' strong arms and carried up the stairs to their bedroom.

Harry squealed with delight as he was thrown onto the middle of the bed, Severus shucking his clothes and climbing on after him, his eyes dark with predatory lust. The older man stripped Harry of his jeans and boxers and pushed his legs apart, settling in the vee and leaning over to kiss Harry again, their erections rubbing together and sending sparks through both of them. He arched into Severus' touch and whined when the older man pulled away to leer down at him lecherously.

"What would they think if they knew we left our children with them not to go to the movies, but to come home and fuck ourselves into insanity? How would they react if they knew that you fidgeted through dinner because your arse was on fire, stretched out by my cock?"

Harry whined. He really couldn't wait any longer. The last two times they'd tried to have sex they had been interrupted by the kids, and he _needed_ to feel Severus inside him _right now_ or he just might _die_.

Severus wondered if Harry realised he was mumbling words out loud, and decided that no, from the glassy look of the emerald eyes Harry had no idea he was vocally begging Severus. Severus moved his hand to Harry's erection, stroking one finger lightly up and down the hard shaft as it rested full and heavy against Harry's stomach. It was a teasing touch that made Harry whimper, and Severus kept it up as he used his free hand to slick lube over his own cock. He wiped the excess over Harry's entrance and pushed a finger in, working it slowly in and out as Harry pushed his hips down. Nearly four years and Severus still wasn't tired of the sight of Harry fucking himself on his fingers.

Harry groaned as Severus finally entered him, he was barely stretched and the burn drove him crazy with lust. He locked his arms around Severus' neck and looked up into his husband's eyes as they moved in perfect unison together. Harry was already pulled taut and it only took a few minutes to tip him over the edge, decorating their stomachs with his release as Severus thrust through his orgasm, finally collapsing on top of him as his body twitched through its own climax.

Severus rolled gently off Harry and stared up at the ceiling. He caught his breath slowly and reached out to take Harry's hand in his. "Did you print off the review of the movie?"

"Yeah. I know enough about it to ramble for a while."

"Good."

Harry shifted round to curl against Severus' side, pillowing his head on Severus' chest as long arms wrapped around him, holding him tight and anchoring him in the big bed. "Can you believe we've been married four years next month?"

"No. I don’t think I'll ever really believe that we have what we have after the spectacular start to our relationship!"

Harry sniggered, and burrowed tighter into Severus. They'd re-affirmed their vows on their one-year anniversary, finally having a wedding that could be spoken about in something more than hushed whispers, and the picture of the two of them in their formal robes had pride of place over the hearth in the living room. Over the years they'd filled the walls with photographs of their life together, and Harry looked to them when he felt himself struggling. Seeing the evidence of all he had to fight for was his reason for making the effort, and though he'd struggled, he hadn’t had an episode in three years. He still saw Healer Radcliffe, but only once a month, and Severus made his potion faithfully.

"What are you thinking about, Imp?"

"That what we have now was worth all the trauma."

Severus felt a smile curving his lips, and tipped his head to place a gentle kiss on Harry's messy hair. "Yes, it was. Though can this sentimentality not wait? We have to be back at the Burrow for six."

Harry sniggered as he was pinned under Severus' weight, pulling his husband into a deep kiss as he set the alarm to go off at five-thirty… 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Harry found Severus reading in the TV room and moved to lie on the sofa with him, settling in his arms and waiting while he finished his chapter and rested the weighty potions tome on the coffee table.

"Did they both go down OK?"

"Yeah, out like lights. Good news about Hermione, isn't it?"

"Mmm. I suspect she's trying to out-do Molly. This is what, the ninth now?"

"Severus! The sixth."

Harry fell silent, and Severus chanced a look down, seeing a dreamy expression on Harry's face. "Oh, sweet Merlin, you only had Katie six months ago!"

Harry flushed, and shifted position so he could see Severus better, fixing the man in a pleading look. "But I like being pregnant! And you like it too! Not right now, but maybe soon?"

Severus rolled his eyes and tipped Harry's chin up into a kiss. "I'll think about it. For now though, I taped you the _'My Restless, Bleeding, Dying Heart'_ omnibus."

Harry grinned and settled against Severus as he started the video playing. It was amazing that the soap had lasted as long as it had, but they made time to watch it together. Some traditions took hold without you noticing and were hard to break, and watching bad muggle soaps together was one such tradition. Long fingers slid into the belt loops of his jeans, and Harry let his eyes drift closed. He was home.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Final Note **

**Thank you to everyone that has read and reviewed this story, and to potion_lady for her help, beta'ing, input and general support – you rock hard sweets!**

**I hope you all enjoy Harry & Severus' happy ending! **

**Love, *Softly*Sweetly***


End file.
